t-shirt: 'I Only Pork Vegans'

Best Selling Tee Is Back by Popular Demand. Disruptive. Irreverent. Nasty. Sexy. Topical. Activist. In the Moment. Fun. Photogenic. Self Aware. Trauma Informed. Slightly Threatening. Also Cotton.

This Is the Slogan That Does It All, and Yet Somehow Manages to Do Nothing. Each Word Was Personally Focus Grouped by a Panel of Nine Confused Millennials and One Extremely Tired Gen Xer.

Plastic Free. Vegan. Made of Cotton, Which by the Way Has Always Been Vegan, but We Are Saying It Anyway. Gluten Free, in Case You Were Planning to Eat It. Cruelty Free, Unless You Count the People Who Sewed It. Carbon Neutral, Depending on Who You Ask. Made in Brooklyn, Obviously.

Available in Three Deeply Ambiguous Colors: Salmon, the Fish. Red, the Regular Kind. and White, Also the Regular Kind. Sizes Available: XXS, XS, S, M, L, XL, XXL, XXXL, XXXXL, and One Secret Size We Are Calling Vibes Only. If You Fall Between Sizes, Please Consult Your Astrologer.