certified non-predatory heterosexual male tee

Let's face it, gentlemen, our collective reputation has taken a few hits. Some guys have behaved so badly that the rest of us now need to issue public statements confirming we're capable of basic human decency. Welcome to modern civilization.

Fortunately, goodsugar has developed a solution. Our Certified Non-Predatory Heterosexual Male Tee lets the world know you're straight, reasonably well-adjusted, and not actively looking to ruin someone's afternoon. Wear it to the gym, the office, yoga class, or anywhere people might appreciate a little advance reassurance.

Of course, wearing the shirt doesn't automatically make you a decent human being. That's where the actual work begins. Take a breath. Practice meditation. Consider that therapy appointment you've been putting off for eleven years. Learn to regulate your emotions, respect boundaries, and stop mistaking aggression for masculinity.

Think of this shirt as a public declaration of good intentions, not a legally binding certificate of character. Certification is entirely self-administered, and goodsugar reserves the right to revoke it if you start acting like an asshole.

Available Sizes: XS, S, M, L, XL, XXL, XXXL, XXXXL

Available Colors: An assortment of colors, because personal growth should never be limited to gray.

Materials: Cotton. Vegan. Plastic-Free. Made in Brooklyn.

goodsugar. Good Men Don't Need a Certificate. But Apparently, Now They Can Wear One.