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Oct 04, 2026The Letter I Could Not Say Out Loud
After ten years together, the author writes his partner a letter about desire and shares what it taught him about honesty, mismatched needs, being seen, and...
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Oct 04, 2026Glossary of Useful Words and Terms
A plain language glossary of the terms behind love, conflict, attachment, and sex in this series, from amygdala to window of tolerance, closing with a short...
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Sep 08, 2026Rules of Engagement: How to Fight Without Destroying the Relationship
Conflict is inevitable in a serious relationship, but it does not have to become a battle. By slowing down, regulating your own reactions, listening as much...
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Sep 08, 2026When Someone Else’s Anxiety Becomes Yours
When someone else’s anxiety triggers your own, the practice is to notice the reaction, breathe before acting, examine your part honestly, and respond consciously without confusing...
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Sep 04, 2026Rules of Engagement
Serious conflict is best resolved inside the conversation itself rather than outsourced to a therapist's hour, and it only works if both people walk in with...
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Aug 24, 20261.7 Get Me the F**k Out of Here
Chapter 1.7 in the book Wired For Love, tells you that intimacy makes you part of your partner's nervous system, so the work is to watch...
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Aug 24, 20261.15 Before the Clock Runs Out: The Practice of Staying
A personal reflection on mortality, conflict, and regulating our reactions long enough to discover whether a relationship can grow.
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Aug 10, 2026Twenty-Four Post-Breakup Rules (Chapter 7.9)
Healing after a breakup requires clear boundaries, honest self-reflection, emotional processing, supportive routines, and deliberate freedom from obsessive patterns so the nervous system can settle and...
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Aug 05, 2026Pickering and Bickering
The habit of picking at a partner over small, meaningless details is not intimacy but a projection of our own anxiety and self control issues, and...
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Aug 01, 2026What We Really Need
Our needs are complex and shaped by childhood, biology, and culture, so healthy relationships require partners to meet each other’s essential needs while accepting and forgiving...
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Jul 19, 2026What We Really Need
From air and water to nervous system regulation, role models, and play, this chapter maps our essential human needs and explains why no relationship can meet...
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Jul 18, 2026Can We Be Friends?
True lasting love is built not on sex, status, or need fulfillment, but on the everlasting friendship at the center of a romantic relationship.
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