Shopping for a Feeling

Spending money can be exciting and distracting. It gives us something to anticipate, a promise of a positive outcome in an uncertain future. When we feel empty, buying something can make us feel temporarily full.

Our eyes search for novelty. We escape boredom. We build stories long before we enter a store: I look better in heels. I look better in flats. Looking better means people will accept me, desire me, or pay attention to me. Through that logic, hunting for shoes can begin to feel as necessary as hunting for food.

Men and women alike have their shopping narratives, their reasons, their justifications. Sometimes we buy what we need. Sometimes we enjoy something beautiful. But sometimes we spend to cover a deeper feeling of dread, loneliness, or dissatisfaction.

Even if we never run out of money, we can run out of room, both in our homes and in our minds. We accumulate things to think about, organize, maintain, protect, and eventually discard. How much clutter we can tolerate is subjective. Some people can handle more than others. But we all have limits.

It’s distraction, folks. And sometimes the distraction becomes another source of the discomfort we were trying to escape.

Sooner or later, we are invited back to the present. Feel your circumstances. Notice what is happening inside you without immediately reaching for something to change the feeling.

Be in your body. Find your way back to the breath. If that sounds abstract, pause here. Take a slow, comfortable breath. Let your shoulders drop. Feel yourself sitting or standing wherever you are.

The quiet observer is the part of you that can notice an urge without immediately obeying it. Practice returning to that awareness. Give your nervous system a chance to settle.

Get there in this lifetime. You don’t have to wait until you’ve bought everything you ever wanted.