The first and most important aspects of self-help are self-awareness and the willingness to take action. Many people around the world lack both. This is not a judgment, but an accurate observation of the current situation. Self-awareness is like having a mirror in your mind. It requires you to observe your thought processes and belief systems that lead to suffering. For example, if someone is an alcoholic but can't recognize it, they won't address the problem because they don't realize it exists. However, self-awareness alone isn't enough. Many alcoholics know they are addicted but never quit because they are unwilling to change. Developing willingness isn't easy, but it strengthens when we realize the root of our suffering and endure enough pain to see that change is necessary. Willingness is also enhanced by motivation. We're more inclined to endure difficult changes when we believe there's a significant reward, like happiness, preventing loss, saving a relationship, or being a good parent. These motivations, though sometimes superficial, are effective and provide a starting point. We can cultivate willingness through prayer, meditation, or by acting as if we already have it.
The End of Anxiety
Finding a place of relaxation depends on various factors. For me, it involves balancing mental activity and positive thoughts, engaging in physical activity, and being aware of my internal chemistry. Triggers in my surroundings can prompt feelings of anxiety, but my willingness to take deep breaths helps relax my central nervous system. Additionally, I consider any real dangers present in the outside world.
When you combine these elements with the challenges of childhood development and individual intelligence levels, it’s clear why many people experience anxiety. This reality is evident, and there’s no need to prove how anxious humanity has become.
To gain control over our mind and find happiness, we need to renovate our mental structures and follow a program. The most crucial part at the beginning is your willingness and the method of accountability you establish. You must be accountable to something important so that when challenges arise, you have a reason to push forward.
With willingness and accountability in place, it's essential to write down what we believe are the roots of our emotional problems. This helps us declutter our minds, organize our thoughts, and start an inner dialogue. I use Google Docs to store my reflections, and I utilize voice-to-text features on my phone to create an organized and searchable diary without much typing.
Let's start with some basic philosophy about the external world you live in and ensure you integrate these fundamental concepts into your understanding.
You are an organic organism composed of organs made up of living cells and tissues, which break down further into molecules and atoms. All this exists on a planet—a somewhat spherical rock with a molten core—spinning on its axis at over 17,000 mph. Simultaneously, it orbits the sun, which is essentially a star. This star, 93 million miles away, provides energy for all life on Earth, from plankton to complex organisms like animals, including us. We are each conscious entities sharing common spaces with other conscious entities.
Something is happening outside of you, but it’s not exactly what you might think. Everything you see is a structure of some kind, but you create much of the reality of what it is. You label it square, pink, tall, or short, and your mind constructs what that thing might be. Due to various circumstances, our vision of the world is distorted by our mental reality. For instance, we add judgments like "that tree is ugly" or "that man is fat." Our opinions about things shape our reality, which is a fundamental aspect of psychology.
To find happiness, it's important to understand this and start peeling away our negative judgments. We need to see things from a new perspective—one that's more aligned with reality.
We will get into this more in other writings.
From now on, when I refer to the planet we live on, I will call it Earth. If I say "the world" or "the universe," I mean every single object and force in the visible universe.
The universe contains three things: mind, body, and the outside world. Each influences and affects the others; they cannot be separated and truly exist as one. Our minds separate these things because that’s how they appear, but in reality, they are unified.
An important concept in understanding the simplest aspects of the universe's mechanics is the number two. Before any material substance, there was just one thing: pure consciousness without form. Consciousness divided into two, allowing for creation. Now, you can say here and there, life and death, happiness and sadness, because the one was divided into two. In the material universe, every description has an equal and opposite counterpart.
You might say consciousness caused the separation of one into two. It's okay if this concept is hard to grasp—no one fully understands it. Philosophy and physics explore this extensively, but we can only discuss it without truly comprehending its meaning. Still, it's worth considering because other perspectives on the nature of reality are often misleading.
The nature of reality is that everything you see is caused by something that happened previously. Similarly, everything in your mind is caused by something prior. Every thought stems from a previous thought, experience, or feeling. The universe and the human mind operate in similar ways.
The mind also has equal and opposite reactions and feelings, just as the universe has equal and opposite forces.
The reason we exist is due to a series of causes and effects, all tracing back to the very first cause: consciousness creating the effect of separateness, or one turning into two. That's all you need to know for now about physics and philosophy.
This concept is valuable as a mental exercise—to breathe while reading, try to understand it, and then explore or challenge it. Develop a better philosophy about our existence and suffering on this planet, and create solutions. Humanity, Earth, and all its creatures need us to solve this riddle: How do we relax?
Consider what anxiety has led humanity to do to other creatures, the planet, and themselves, resulting from reactions to real or perceived threats. People who act poorly are conditioned to do so; humans are never born evil. Even if a child shows a propensity for destructiveness or temperamental behavior, it's the nuances of nurture that shape adult behavior. This is also cause and effect.
It's remarkable how cause and effect appear as a pattern throughout the universe. The way we are as adults is directly influenced by our experiences from conception to this very moment. Your subconscious mind shapes your behavior, reactions, thoughts, suffering, and feelings of joy and bliss.
The main focus of what I try to convey is understanding anxiety. We discuss philosophy because when exploring the human mind, we inevitably delve into consciousness, which remains a mystery. Even top scientists and neuroscientists can't fully explain how consciousness arises in the mind. We understand how we think and how various aspects of the mind influence behavior, but there's no mathematical explanation for how neurons lead to consciousness. It's mysterious, yet crucial to discuss, as it helps us deeply explore who we are and understand why we feel the way we do today.
Take comfort in knowing there are many people throughout history who have worked to relieve their suffering compassionately, without resorting to cults or paying for teachings. The best teachers integrate all the sciences. We won't discuss astrology, as it's not relevant here, and we won't delve into God, to ensure inclusivity for those who don't believe.
Just as soldiers are given a rifle as a primary tool for survival, to embark on the journey of understanding your mind and alleviating anxiety, you need a primary tool: slow, deep breaths.
If you're skeptical, consider how deep breaths create more relaxation than shallow ones. Think about the Lamaze technique used worldwide during childbirth. The primary training for expectant mothers is breathing techniques.
These techniques aren't about invoking maternal spirits; they're designed to help manage stress and anxiety caused by the pain of childbirth. By breathing, the mother can control her heart rate and signal her brain to relax, easing bodily tension that could hinder the birthing process. Every martial art, from gymnastics to kung fu to boxing, incorporates breathing techniques to maximize oxygen and maintain peak performance. No sport, except deep-sea diving without air tanks, promotes holding your breath. In deep-sea diving, holding your breath is essential, but in every other sport, breathing is crucial for performance.
In life, we're not in an athletic event and tend to breathe shallowly, which becomes habitual. Prolonged shallow breathing leads to a pattern where we don't take deeper breaths needed to transition from stress to relaxation.
To enhance your breathing practice, aim for 2 to 3 minutes daily, focusing on six-second inhalations through a small opening and six-second exhalations through the nose. Nasal breathing is recommended by nature, so if you struggle with it, consider exploring additional breathing exercises to clear your nasal passages or improve mouth breathing as necessary.
Breath is our primary tool, but the second tool is movement. Stagnant muscles lead to atrophy, making standing painful and fostering laziness, which can increase anxiety during tasks. Regular movement is essential for maintaining muscle and bone density and supporting our internal organs through proper diet. As we progress and become more relaxed, we can better address our addictive behaviors.
For now, our goal is to stabilize ourselves and recognize our progress. To sustain this progress, we must focus on accountability—not just to ourselves, but also to a greater purpose that motivates us to keep moving forward.
At this moment, it's crucial to introduce another important tool: self-exploration through writing. Consider trying to manage a business in your mind without keeping financial records. Or training staff without a structured program—it would be chaotic. Similarly, managing the complexities of an anxious mind requires organization and structure.
You'll need to create notes to clarify the mental patterns contributing to chronic anxiety. Then, we can develop a daily action plan that you’ll commit to, aimed at improving your life and extending your longevity. This process will not only elevate your happiness but also empower you to help others facing similar challenges in the future.
One of the gifts of becoming comfortable in our bodies is the ability to offer so much to the world when we are relaxed. I encourage you to write the book of your life through separate essays, which you can keep in Google Docs or another format. Even if you’re not a fan of digital journaling, this exercise is beneficial for keeping your mind sharp.
We'll conclude here for now, but in our next discussion, we’ll explore how the central nervous system functions and delve into specific writing topics to better understand our minds. We’ll also examine how the ego forms and where our character may waver. Good luck with your breathing!
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