Growing Together, Returning to Love

Relationships must change over the years because human beings are constantly changing. Being in a relationship means paying attention to what is happening within your partner and within yourself. Where is there growth? Where is more work needed? What has changed, and what now requires greater care?

Relationships also require sensitivity to each other’s needs. If I know that my partner feels cared for when I bring her fresh juice, I can do that. If she knows that warmth and physical touch are important to me, she can reach for me. These may seem like small gestures, but doing something simply because you know it will make your partner happy is an important form of service.

A healthy portion of life must also remain our own. We need to practice yoga, exercise, maintain friendships, take long walks, and care for ourselves. Then we return to the relationship with something to give. We share as much love as we can, open our hearts, and examine the fears and resentments that make closeness feel dangerous.

When those feelings arise, we can remind ourselves, “I do not have to hold on. I can let go. I can be present.” If they return, we talk about them, write about them, and repeat the practice. We may need to explore childhood emotions and reach deeply into the mind to understand where the feelings began. The purpose is not to remain trapped in endless analysis. The purpose is to understand what happened and then return to the present.

We can say, “I am letting go of these resentments. I am letting go of these fears. I am finding my way back to love.” Love is what I was put on this planet to practice. My partner deserves love, I deserve love, and together we have the opportunity to share it.