mango'shewitz (limted edition)

Ingredients: Mango, pineapple, pea protein, coconut flakes. (Tropical, Protein-Infused, and Enzyme-Rich)

An exotic symphony of tropical fruit, enriched with pea protein and finished with coconut. An ode to paradise in a glass.

Feeling: Luscious mango, sweet tangy pineapple, a hit of pea protein, and the essence of sun-kissed coconut. A one-way ticket to the tropics that requires no passport and no checked baggage fees. Warning: this tastes nothing like kosher red wine.

A lot of people see the tattoos and assume hooligan. Understandable. Disappointing, but understandable. For the record, I was bar mitzvahed, I am deeply committed to this self-helpy malarky, and I could not hurt a fly. Roaches and mosquitoes are a different matter entirely. They are not innocent bystanders. They are at war with us common mammals and someone has to hold the line.