I called my mother, she’s 77, and I asked her a simple question.
I said, “Mom, have you ever heard the word enlightenment?”
She said yes.
I asked, “What do you think it means?” She said, “When I wake up my mind.” I paused and said, “What do you mean by wake up your mind? Aren’t you awake right now?” She said, “I don’t know.” And in that moment, something clicked.
You have to hear the word enlightenment before you can even begin to think about what it means. And once you hear it, you can go in a hundred different directions with it. It can become something mystical, something unreachable, something you chase forever and never quite hold. But maybe the pursuit itself is the point. Not to find something magical, but to learn how to live better. To develop character. To become a little more kind, a little more aware. So I said to her, what if enlightenment isn’t mythical at all? What if it’s not magical? What if it’s something extremely simple?
What if enlightenment is just a relaxed nervous system and steady breathing? What if it’s a mind without static? What if it’s the ability, in a given moment, to choose calm instead of chaos? What if it’s freedom from addiction? What if it’s awareness of our own reactivity, seen clearly and held with compassion?
That version is easier to understand. It’s more humble. It doesn’t promise anything grand. It points to something practical. And if there are attachments in that idea, let them be to morality, to character, to being aware of how we affect the world from moment to moment.
From that place, we have a chance to rebuild self esteem, no matter what damage was done earlier in life.
Most people don’t really know how to measure self esteem. We confuse it with what we own. Our car, our clothes, our house, our status, our titles. Those things have value, but not the kind we give them.
Real self worth is quieter. It comes from how we live, how we act, how we treat people, how we regulate ourselves.
When you begin to discover that, the need for constant approval starts to shrink. The need to be seen, praised, validated, it becomes smaller.
That doesn’t mean you have to run off and live in a cave.
We live in a world shaped by consumerism and capitalism. If you choose to stay in it, then you have to learn how to operate within it without losing yourself. You develop skills. You work. You earn. But you do it with awareness and with compassion.
Non harm becomes the boundary. Within that boundary, there is plenty of room to live, to build, to succeed.
Money is just a tool. No different than a hammer or a screwdriver. It helps you create, build, and move through the world. But like any tool, how you use it determines everything. And the real work, always, comes back to this:
Are you breathing well? Are you aware? Are you causing harm, or reducing it?
That might be enlightenment.