relationships are challenging

relationships are challenging

Please note that the language used in this article is direct and based on personal experience rather than scientific fact. Our ideas are philosophical in nature and are subject to change. These messages are my own and I do not intend to judge others. I believe them to be true, but I do not aim to preach. I consider myself a perpetual student.

Relationships can be challenging because the skills required to navigate them are not something we are born with. In the year 2023, there's very little instinct involved in an intimate relationship. I believe that a romantic relationship has to be built on a foundation of friendship and a collaborative effort to improve our overall personalities. 

We must be aware of each other's past injuries and make sure that we are careful not to trample on them. Learning how to ask for what we need and adjusting to the things that are more appropriate for our grown-up lives are also crucial aspects of any healthy relationship. For instance, if there was a need that wasn't met when we were five years old, it might not be easy to demand it in today's relationship. 

Therefore, healing is going to have to take place, and in a healthy relationship, that healing takes place out in the open. The relationship must be a safe space where both partners feel comfortable discussing their needs, fears, and insecurities. By working together to heal past wounds and build a stronger foundation, couples can create a fulfilling and lasting connection.

Living with another person requires us to learn the art of cohabitation. This involves getting used to their habits, both good and bad, and finding ways to appreciate the positive ones while communicating about the negative ones in a constructive manner. It's important to be vocal about our praise, but this can take some training, as we may be inclined to withhold it for various reasons.

Sometimes, we may withhold praise because we want to use it as a weapon or manipulate the relationship. We may also be wary of our partner taking advantage of us, so we are very sparing with compliments. While this may not be a typical scenario, it's something that some people experience.

Another reason we may withhold praise is deep-rooted resentment towards the person or others from our past. It's essential to work through these feelings and communicate openly with our partner to avoid any negative impact on the relationship. Ultimately, learning to cohabit with another person means finding a balance of compromise, appreciation, and effective communication.

Indeed, creating a hospitable environment in a home that we share with a romantic partner is an important aspect of building and maintaining a healthy relationship. This often involves learning from our caretakers when we were young or seeking out education on the topic later in life.

Maintaining a positive attitude is also an important factor in personal well-being and can have a positive impact on relationships. Practicing meditation and finding the positive in things can help approach challenges from a more relaxed and constructive perspective. This doesn't mean denying or ignoring problems, but rather approaching them with a mindset that sees every obstacle as an opportunity for growth. 

The philosophy of the Stoics, ancient philosophers, can also be helpful in cultivating this mindset. By learning to control our reactions to external events and focusing on what we can control, we can develop greater resilience and perspective in the face of challenges.

While finding a compatible partner and addressing childhood wounds are important factors in building a successful relationship, managing anxiety and controlling our reactions is also crucial. Anxiety can be triggered by a variety of things in a relationship, and learning to recognize and control our reactions to these triggers can help us maintain healthier relationships.

One effective technique for managing anxiety in the moment is to take long, deep breaths. This can help to reduce the physical symptoms of anxiety, such as shortness of breath and an increased heart rate, and signal to the brain that we are not in danger. By practicing this technique, we can learn to manage our anxiety and avoid reacting in ways that may harm our relationships.

However, it's important to note that managing anxiety is not a one-size-fits-all solution and may require additional support or therapy. While this technique can be helpful, it's important to seek out professional help if anxiety is significantly impacting your daily life or relationships.

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