We cannot freeze a relationship in a moment in time. Everything in the universe is moving. Everything in the physical universe is constantly changing. The stages and phases of a relationship must change as well.
First and foremost among such relationship changes is needing to move from being new and unfamiliar to each other into a desirable level of familiarity. For some people, familiarity in a relationship feels boring. For others, it feels awkward in other ways. This is the case because it means getting to the stage of a relationship in which we're going to work on ourselves, be vocal about our feelings, and ask our partner for things that they might not be comfortable giving us.
We will also need to learn how to resolve conflict if we don’t already know how to do that. And conflict resolution in relationships can be very difficult. Sometimes conflict occurs primarily because of a lack of compatibility. But more often than not it occurs because we are complicated, difficult and often unconscious creatures whose behavior reflects what we are.
Subconscious psychological motivation for behavior that is not in our best interest is very powerful. Becoming aware of such motivation and the behavior it drives and subsequently fixing the behavior can be time-consuming, boring, and frustrating. But it must be done.
There is light at the end of the tunnel of the difficult work that changing ourselves and our relationships for the better will entail. And those who make such positive changes will find that their partners will be motivated to work towards similar changes in themselves.
We can love our partners more and develop deeper, more satisfying relationships when we embrace change. But we need to face such change with a positive attitude and an aggressive resolve to make ourselves the best that we can be for the sake of our loved ones.
