I'd be remiss not to mention Elon Musk on this website, mostly because the man is now a trillionaire and there's a real chance he buys every company in the history of the world before lunch. 🚀💰
Full disclosure: I would absolutely work for Elon Musk, and I'd work cheap. My ask is a modest one point seven million dollars a year for me and my team, plus twenty percent of profits after expenses, nothing crazy. We'd just need a small startup budget of fifty million to build a hundred Goodsugar stores around the world, covering build out and incidentals, period. 🧃
Here's the pitch, Elon: we don't fly private, we don't waste money on nonsense, and we definitely won't run off with any of it. We show up, we build, we ship juice. 💪
If you're reading this, my jaw is already on the floor in advance. Somebody fetch the man a cold pressed green juice and let's talk. 🥬
Within me resides the spirit of Leonardo da Vinci, Albert Einstein, Mahatma Gandhi, Mike Tyson, and Martin Luther King. In a way, every great historical figure I admire lives somewhere in my psychology, and they influence how I think about the public figures who shape the world around me. Take Elon Musk, for instance. Unimaginably rich, congratulations to him and his family, it must feel amazing not to worry about the next thousand lifetimes of meals. If he ever walked into Goodsugar and said, "Hey, you're really smart, come work for me," I'd strongly consider it. I'd like to test my ability to speak truth to power and see whether I could thrive in an environment like that. I've never worked for someone like him, and it would be fascinating to find out if I have what it takes.
On the flip side, he reminds me of other high risk visionaries I've known over the years. They take risks, push boundaries, and sometimes lie to get their vision off the ground. Society tends to give people like that more power than they deserve, largely because fear of financial insecurity grips most of us. Money is tied to our chances for social and romantic success, if you're well funded, you're more likely to be admired, loved, accepted. That power to command wealth so easily is intoxicating. But at the core, Elon Musk is just human flesh and blood, randomly selected by the universe to win the lottery. I wish him well, may he have a long life free from anxiety and suffering. Still, if you ever feel your jaw drop in awe at his stories, keep both eyes open for the nonsense that can come bundled with the genius.
I think the idea of solving our problems by escaping into space is misguided. If humanity can't manage life on earth, why would we fare any better on a new planet? When I hear plans to colonize space, I'm reminded of every James Bond villain who sets out to build a utopia elsewhere and leaves earthly problems behind. There's something nihilistic and depressing about deciding our brightest solution is to hop into a rocket bound for desolate terrain, picking only the elite or genetically "fit" to come along. If I had that kind of money and influence, I'd want to spend more time meditating on every new invention, examining the consequences for the next thousand years, not just the next quarter. I'd love to see that kind of genius engineer something to replace plastic or wood with materials that are actually sustainable. I'd be thrilled to see entire prototype desert cities built right here on earth, employing thousands of people, centered on child development, therapy, and community, real world labs for better living. Then if we ever do leave this planet, at least we won't repeat the same mistakes on the next one.
If I had that kind of money, I'd put together a dream team of philosophers, scientists, and intellectuals, give them a beautiful place to live and think, a seventy five thousand square foot guest house designed purely for debate and creativity. I'd build hospitals, ethical supermarkets, huge vertical farms, maybe even a land based Noah's Ark for wildlife conservation. I realize that might make me a James Bond villain too, but my villainy would lean toward forcibly rehabilitating destructive world leaders, and if they refused to change, I'd subject them to the gentlest possible brainwashing until they came out the other side as peaceful monks. Yes, it sounds wild, but that's the kind of quirky ambition you're allowed to have once you stop worrying about money.
I don't have a formal education, a criminal record, or any major vices. I do have a decent IQ, somewhere in the low one thirties, and I'm generally well organized, up by six thirty in the morning, in bed by eleven at night. So if anyone out there with that kind of wealth wants to bring me on board, I'll work for the bargain price of nine hundred fifty thousand dollars a year. I'm excellent at coming up with projects that can burn through money like firewood in the best possible way. Just give me a time and a place, I'll be there at seven a.m. sharp, ready to see how much I can shake up your universe.