What we sleep on—and the position we sleep in—makes a real difference, not just in how our bodies feel in the morning, but in how deeply we rest. It's obvious that mattress quality and sleep posture affect the physical wear and tear on our joints and spine. But what’s often overlooked is how much they also influence the quality of our sleep, our emotional state, and even our ability to regulate stress.
Deep sleep is a complex process. It’s shaped by our individual chemistry, our emotional baseline, and—perhaps most importantly—how we've trained ourselves to sleep over the years. And that training can shift. I’ve noticed my own patterns change with age and lifestyle.
For instance, I’ve never considered myself a great sleeper. My mind tends to stay active—I don’t naturally want to “shut off.” If it were up to me, I’d be awake all the time, thinking, working, creating. In my 40s, I often stayed up until 4 a.m. and woke around 8. I lived off adrenaline, driven by work, physical training, and anxiety. Sleep only came when I was totally depleted.
Back then, the only thing that reliably brought me into real rest was massage. After a session, I’d sink into some of the most profound REM sleep I’ve ever experienced. That kind of full-body relaxation is rare these days—but when I get it, it feels like heaven.
Over time, I’ve realized that improving sleep isn’t just about getting tired. It’s about calming the mind. I’ve learned to avoid over-stimulation before bed. That means staying off screens or at least choosing content carefully. When I do watch something, I go for light comedies or uplifting stories—never news or anything emotionally aggressive. Sometimes I listen to a dense lecture—physics or philosophy—just to exhaust my mind enough to drift off. Occasionally, I even retain something useful.
Still, the old habits creep in. I get the itch to rewatch action movies from my younger days—stuff filled with fights, explosions, and vengeance. Looking back, I realize how much those films conditioned me. They were junk food for the brain—loud, aggressive, overstimulating—but sometimes I still crave them. That said, I now prefer courtroom dramas or documentaries—engaging enough to entertain, but not enough to spike my cortisol.
One of the biggest challenges today is the sheer volume of content. Streaming platforms and endless social feeds are designed to keep us numb, passive, and distracted. They offer comfort, but it’s often the kind that keeps us disconnected from our inner world.
If your sleep is off, start with the basics: Is your bed comfortable? Are you sinking into softness or sleeping on a slab? Personally, I spent years on ultra-firm mattresses, thinking it was better for my back—but I never felt truly rested. Finding the right surface and sleep environment matters more than most people realize.
It’s also important to recognize that sleep issues aren’t just physical. The National Sleep Foundation and organizations like the National Institute of Neurological Disorders and Stroke (NINDS) point to stress and anxiety as some of the leading causes of sleep problems. Racing thoughts, poor sleep hygiene, screen exposure, irregular schedules, and unresolved emotional tension all interfere with rest.
Medical issues like sleep apnea or restless leg syndrome also play a role—but for many people, it comes down to an overactive nervous system that simply won’t let go.
To sleep well, we have to feel safe. That means calming the mind, creating a sense of emotional security, and training ourselves—bit by bit—to unwind. Sleep is not just a physical act; it’s a psychological and spiritual one. We don’t just lay our bodies down—we surrender our control. And for anxious minds, that’s often the hardest part.