INT. YOGA STUDIO - DAY
Harry OmStein, a quirky and slightly neurotic yoga enthusiast in his 50s, sits on a yoga mat, sharing his thoughts with the audience. The room is filled with serene ambiance and other yoga practitioners.
Harry OmStein
(rolling his eyes)
When I first started doing yoga, oh boy, it was about as thrilling as watching paint dry. Seriously, everything moved at a snail's pace. The instructor had this uncanny ability to describe every single detail. It was like she was auditioning for a marathon of Simon Says!
He takes a dramatic pause, as if reminiscing about his early yoga days.
Harry OmStein (CONT'D)
You know, I thought I'd spice up my life with some yoga when I was a young lad of 25. And sure, maybe the prospect of meeting attractive women had a tiny, minuscule role to play. I mean, I was lonely, what can I say?
Harry adjusts his yoga pants, trying to look cool.
Harry OmStein (CONT'D)
But let me tell you, folks, with all that yoga, my energy centers started opening up. And what happened? I felt worse in my mind! Turns out, I hadn't stumbled upon the right yoga gurus yet. It's like finding a needle in a haystack.
He waves his hands dramatically, emphasizing the struggle.
Harry OmStein (CONT'D)
Then, one fine day in 1999, like a mystical unicorn prancing into my life, I found the most authentic yoga teacher. This guy, let's call him "Maha Yogi" - he was the real deal, the Jedi master of yoga poses. I tell ya, he was the light at the end of my yoga tunnel!
Harry starts listing the names of his other influential teachers, doing a little victory dance for each one.
Harry OmStein (CONT'D)
And let's not forget Mrs. Heyman, Bill Whitehead, my dear old dad David Rubenstein, and the list goes on! These people changed my life, folks!
Harry takes a deep breath, his eyes gleaming with newfound enthusiasm.
Harry OmStein (CONT'D)
So, fast forward to 2018. I stumbled upon this new thing called "hot yoga." And boy, oh boy, did it hit me right in the feels! It was like a divine awakening, but milder. You know, like a gentle nudge from the yoga gods.
He pantomimes being struck by lightning, exaggerating his reaction.
Harry OmStein (CONT'D)
Suddenly, it hit me like a ton of yoga blocks. Yoga is everything! It's the very essence of compassion, folks. It's like a direct hotline to nature and that fuzzy feeling of oneness. Wow!
Harry playfully strikes a yoga pose, wobbling a bit before finding his balance.
Harry OmStein (CONT'D)
And you know what else? Yoga helped me gain control over my anxiety. It's a work in progress, of course. But through relaxation and focus, I started feeling like a human again. A human who can twist and bend in weird ways, mind you.
He chuckles, pretending to contort his body into impossible shapes.
Harry OmStein (CONT'D)
I used to get so caught up in my thoughts during yoga, thinking they were the most fascinating things in the world.