Breathing Over Meditation
From this moment forward, stop trying to meditate. Instead, shift your entire focus to breathing exercises—there are many to choose from. You are meditating whenever you simply say to yourself, “I am meditating.” Some meditations will be deeper than others, depending on the degree of relaxation and focus you achieve. I find myself meditating while writing these words, on the subway, playing with my children, doing yoga, and more. I fall out of meditation when I enter an anxious state, losing presence of mind, focus, and relaxation. Then, I find my way back through breath and mindfulness, committing to not react impulsively to every stressor with more distress.
This was the old way—it somewhat works as a survival method for chronically anxious individuals. We get things done. Hypervigilance is effective for running a business or accomplishing a challenging yoga pose. However, it comes with a price: general unhappiness, insecurity, limited awareness, self-centeredness, stress, and a distorted understanding of reality. All of that just from not being able to relax the mind? Yes.
Our dilemma as free-willed creatures with fewer instinctual drives than other beings is that if we do not learn to structure our thoughts, cope with feelings, stay present, and control violent and aggressive impulses, we become loathsome creatures. Humans in a state of chronic anxiety, caused by a myriad of experiences and traumatic emotional damage, become addicted to anything that offers relief. We pass on our “garbage” to the next generation and others in our societies, limiting our quality of life to temporary happiness from accumulating things and feeling a false sense of control over our world. This mindset is not sustainable for our species. There's too much violence, addiction, depression, and chaos because we collectively haven't evolved to become aware, relax, and remain on the more peaceful side of our brains. We will explore this in more detail as we continue.
The key is to focus on the act of breathing itself, sustaining that focus long enough to relax and reduce our reactivity to stress and anxiety.
We all experience varying degrees of stress and anxiety throughout the day and over the course of our lives. For beginners, especially under pressure, starting a meditation practice can feel intellectually daunting. Simply using the term meditation may become a barrier. Instead, think of it as a relaxation practice centered on breathing.
Over time, as you progress, the semantics will matter less. You'll come to realize that meditation cannot exist without focus and breathing. By practicing these two elements, you are, by default, meditating. For now, set aside the term meditation and simply focus on breathing.
A great Stoic philosopher once said, “It’s impossible to learn something you think you already know.” In my own journey to grow and deepen my meditation practice, I remain a humble student of the subject, appreciating the small but valuable knowledge that has come my way through years of intense study. It is only in recent years that I’ve begun to truly open my mind and experience the most profound benefit of this practice—inner peace. I’m not out of the woods yet; there is still a long and relaxed journey ahead.
There might not be a definitive answer to what meditation truly is, much like there may not be an answer to the nature of consciousness. But for the purposes of this book, we pick a tangible target—one that allows us to take the next step toward deeper inner pursuits. Enlightenment may not be a static destination, but it arises from practices like meditation that emphasize non-harm, relaxation of the mind, and control of the breath. These are deceptively simple things, yet they constitute a lifetime of work for most people.
In this introduction, I suggest we avoid complicating our practice with props, the need for an ideal meditation spot, or concerns about the perfect seated position. These additions can become excuses for why we can't meditate, sources of procrastination, and indicate a misunderstanding of meditation itself. Meditation requires only one thing: intention. That’s it.
Once we've overcome these initial obstacles and are grounded in our intention, we may choose to enhance our practice with props like candles, music, mala beads, crystals, incense, books, and other accouterments. When we reach this stage, using a mat instead of a towel is an option—but when the mat isn’t available, we can simply return to the towel. If we don’t have a towel, we lie on a blanket, a sweatshirt, or even directly on the floor. The key is understanding that our props and tools are optional, not essential.
Every moment in life can be an opportunity for meditation if we view it as grounding ourselves in the present, relaxing the mind through focused breathing, and releasing distractions. That’s the essence of meditation. At its core, we are practicing how to relax from the reactivity caused by constant stress. For more advanced practitioners, understanding and addressing the sources of this stress becomes a deeper focus. In the early stages, however, we simply need a method to guide ourselves back into the "right frame of mind."
We live in a world that constantly pulls us in multiple directions, with the five senses continuously drawing our attention. On top of this, we carry childhood trauma, navigate societal chaos, and deal with external factors like politics, natural disasters, and inflation. It's no wonder our species is so hyper and anxious. We had to invent something like meditation—much like we invented fire and learned to control it—just to keep ourselves balanced.
Meditation is an invention, a refinement, and a discovery similar to the wheel or fire. And while your particular method of meditation may differ, the essence remains the same: meditation is the antithesis of anxiety and addiction. These two forces—anxiety and addiction—plague humanity, and meditation offers a pathway to healing.
Let me offer another explanation: The goal of meditation is to quiet the mind, detaching from the constant stream of thoughts that occupy our consciousness. It is a practice in focusing the mind on the breath and staying present. Through this consistent practice, we can regulate the central nervous system, calming the obsessive and anxious mind. In this relaxed state, we begin to observe our mental processes rather than be ruled by them, creating space for a more "true" reality beyond our default perceptions. Whether this leads to positive thoughts, inspiration, healing, or simply a sense of calm, relaxation is the key. In my view, relaxation is the ultimate goal, as much of our suffering—rooted in anxiety, addiction, and generational trauma—can be mitigated by learning to relax deeply.
Though meditation is often linked with Eastern philosophies, it transcends any single culture or religion, emerging as a universal human practice found worldwide and across ages. From ancient shamans to modern psychologists, people have recognized the value of sitting still, focusing on the breath, and calming the mind. While some pursue higher states of consciousness or enlightenment, those goals are often secondary to the immediate benefit: quieting a chaotic mind and making room for self-reflection and self-realization.
Self-realization unfolds in stages. Initially, we identify with the image in the mirror, then progress to recognizing our thoughts, emotions, memories, desires, character, behaviors, challenges, and joys. In the final stage, we dive deeper into the roots of our consciousness, touching a realm beyond words—a space that defies description, even naming. This inner exploration is uniquely personal; no one needs an invitation or a warning to open the door and step through.
For those who wish to reach this profound place before their life’s end, the path is clear: meditate, always and unceasingly. Praise.
It’s easy to be swept up by the promise of "higher states," but before we can reach those lofty goals, we must first master the fundamentals—awareness, breath control, calming the mind, addressing negative thought patterns, building character, and living with compassion and integrity. Anything gained beyond these basics is simply "frosting on the cake."
The practice of meditation, while profound, doesn’t need to be overly complicated. At its core, it teaches us focus, tranquility, and the ability to navigate difficult emotions like despair and boredom. This is why meditation should be as essential to our daily routines as brushing our teeth. The benefits are enormous, and yet, for many, it is not instinctive. However, with time and consistency, meditation becomes a gateway to greater awareness, deeper self-understanding, and sharper perception of reality. We may never achieve perfect clarity, but as the fog of anxiety and chaos lifts, we begin to experience a sense of peace that carries us through life’s challenges.
Meditation may seem mystical or esoteric, but it is, in fact, a highly practical tool for mental relaxation, psychological health, and emotional intelligence. It brings about deep relaxation that calms anxiety, transforms our internal chemistry, and provides moments of genuine peace.
The journey of meditation unfolds slowly. You may, like me, be a challenging student. You may feel fragile, stuck in your thinking, or attached to certain patterns of behavior. But that’s okay—it’s part of the process. We are all, as the metaphor goes, diamonds in the rough. The diamond symbolizes the pure mind, and the rough represents the obstructive thoughts and emotions that cloud its brilliance. Meditation is the process of chipping away at the rough to reveal the clarity beneath.
For those who haven't experienced significant trauma, meditation may seem unnecessary. Individuals raised in stable environments with healthy relationships and minimal stress may naturally have the ability to relax and maintain mental balance. However, for most of us, this is not the case. Meditation becomes a powerful tool for those who have faced loss, trauma, addiction, or emotional turmoil. It provides a means to heal, release suffering, and restore balance.
Meditation is taught differently across cultures, but universally, it is viewed as a means to end or alleviate suffering. It is most effective when combined with practical self-help actions, such as journaling, therapy, and physical care. Meditation offers valuable insight, but it is through consistent practice and action that we truly grow. Over time, as we meditate and engage in self-reflection, we begin to peel away the layers of negative thought patterns, gradually transforming our minds to become more peaceful, open, and resilient. This is the true gift of meditation—a steady, ongoing liberation from the mental traps that once held us captive.
If you’re looking for resources to deepen your understanding of meditation and character development, there are many books that can guide you along the way. Eckhart Tolle's The Power of Now offers a profound exploration of presence and mindfulness. Thich Nhat Hanh's teachings on mindfulness are invaluable, especially The Miracle of Mindfulness. For a deeper dive into self-discipline and habit formation, James Clear's Atomic Habits provides excellent insights into building positive routines.
For those seeking a more philosophical approach, Marcus Aurelius’s Meditations and Lao Tze's Tao Te Ching offer timeless wisdom on self-mastery and living in harmony with the universe. Additionally, works by Jordan Peterson and Gabor Maté delve into the psychology of human behavior, trauma, and healing. All of these books, in their own way, can complement your meditation practice by offering tools for self-awareness, self-improvement, and character development.
In essence, meditation is about creating the space within yourself to observe, heal, and grow. It's not just about achieving calm or quieting the mind; it's about developing the resilience, clarity, and insight needed to navigate the complexities of life with greater ease and compassion.
Meditation, at its core, is the practice of anchoring the mind in the present moment by focusing on the natural rhythms of the breath—the inhalation and exhalation. This intentional focus not only trains us to direct our attention deliberately but also stabilizes the mind. Throughout this book, we explore how controlled breathing promotes relaxation, a concept that many understand but find challenging to apply consistently.
Summary - This writing emphasizes focusing on breathing exercises as a simple, accessible method for relaxation and meditation, rather than getting caught up in complex practices or the need for props. Through consistent breathing and mindfulness, meditation becomes a tool for reducing anxiety, enhancing self-awareness, and ultimately fostering inner peace and emotional resilience.