Meditation by itself cannot improve your relationship. But what it can improve is your ability to regulate your central nervous system and shift back into a relaxed state of mind when you’re triggered and anxious—and that is everything to managing a productive life.
Don’t get lost in the meaning of meditation or whether it’s something you’re supposed to do in a yoga classroom or that you have to sit in the Himalayas in some type of trance. That kind of thinking will confuse you early on.
The first stage of meditation is simply to show up and practice. The second stage is to focus on your breath and try to relax your mind—just a little bit—from all the excitement that’s going on inside.
This is going to take time and practice because when you start meditation, the mind is restless and working on overtime. But in time, when we learn to create the observer of the mind while it’s thinking, it will help us tremendously in our relationships. We’ll be better equipped to watch our reactivity to the other person’s triggers and will be able to contain our reactivity—because we’ve learned how to breathe properly to relax the central nervous system.
You have to listen to this over and over again and shed your disbelief that it’s true. This isn’t just an abstract idea—it’s objective truth.