I've met some hot-tempered people in my life. Some of them I was friendly with, and others were total strangers. What I observe is that a hot-tempered person experiences anger as a result of anxiety, with reactions that are quick and intense. If a person is very hot-tempered and anxious, there will be signs of that in their movements and their consistent behaviors.
Having a temper means you experience anxiety in a very intense way. Your reaction is more fight-or-flight than taking deep breaths, finding your center, and reacting with compassion—for both the other person and yourself. Experiencing intense anxiety and having intense reactions doesn't feel good. It doesn't feel nice. Understanding philosophies about enlightenment might be difficult for those who are reactive and hot-tempered because enlightenment feels far from their current state.
But, there's a method for those who feel distant from these teachings. Focus on breathing when you feel your heart rate increasing. Recognize that your brain pattern has been wired a certain way for a long time, as a defense or survival mechanism. If the mind feels threatened, especially in childhood, it creates all kinds of elaborate circuitry to protect itself, often in illogical ways.
For example, a person who had a traumatic childhood might become defensive and deny actions, lie, or obsessively think of themselves as superior. These are defense mechanisms to protect the ego from anxiety. There are many ways a person can defend their delicate ego structures, ranging from addictions to cruelty, and even using others to feel superior.
We can theorize about common defense structures, like excessive gym workouts, watching TV, smoking, drinking coffee, or engaging in romantic obsessions and gambling. Even positive activities, like academic pursuits, can serve as distractions from the present moment due to anxiety. A certain amount of anxiety is natural, but chronic anxiety from a dysfunctional childhood can lead to an anxious brain pattern that persists in all situations.
To counteract this, start with a breathing practice. This doesn’t require learning anything new or a lot of time—you’re already breathing. Commit to breathing with presence of mind, focusing on the cycle of breath. Breathe through your nostrils and take longer, deeper breaths than the shallow ones associated with anxiety.
Some may feel immediate relief from this practice, while others may need more time to integrate it into their system. This can be discouraging, especially for skeptics. Remind yourself of the importance of breathing: holding your breath too long causes anxiety, while a deep breath brings relief. Extend your breath a little deeper and try this exercise outdoors among trees, which provide oxygen and purify the air.
If you have allergies, you might prefer to practice indoors.
