There is something I have noticed in myself and in many others over the years. When we are younger, we often resist this kind of inner work for a long time. We find endless excuses and distractions. On the surface it looks like procrastination or a lack of discipline, but that is not always what is really happening.
Sometimes the avoidance is actually part of the journey. As we start moving toward mental health, we begin to recognize our addictive patterns. With awareness comes tools. We slow down, we quit or reduce some of our primary addictions, and life looks healthier from the outside. But the anxiety that drove those behaviors does not magically disappear. What changes is that we no longer have the same cushions.
This is the moment where the work deepens. When old coping mechanisms fall away, we have to lean more fully into what actually helps. Meditation, breathing, writing, therapy, listening, service. All of it matters. For me, writing is the most powerful entry point. When waves of anxiety hit, I go to the page. I often find the cause quickly. I reconnect to the breath. I discover that the feelings themselves are not dangerous, and I explore them in real time through writing.
There are also moments when meditation is not immediately accessible. If I am in a high anxiety state, I cannot simply sit and be still. I have to calm myself first. I breathe. I ground. I use common sense. Sometimes what feels like regression is actually the discomfort of outgrowing old addictions that are no longer available to numb us.
In twelve step recovery there is an expression that the road gets narrow as we progress. Early on, we have a wide range of distractions and behaviors that keep us from feeling. As awareness grows, many of those options fall away. Awareness itself makes certain thoughts and behaviors uncomfortable or impossible. What remains is the need for more time, more patience, and more self esteem building, so that it feels safe to keep going deeper without relying on old fail safes like addiction.