Let me tell you a story—one that I fully expect to evolve over time. I’m not a neuroscientist, nor do I have access to a laboratory or research team to test my theories. Much of what I write comes from my own experience, supplemented by years of reading and research. And, as I’ve learned, even scientists frequently disagree with one another. That’s not because anyone is necessarily “wrong”—the human brain and psychology are incredibly complex and nuanced subjects.
In this book, I aim to stay grounded in what I know. When it comes to situations I haven’t experienced firsthand—like severe mental illnesses where a person cannot help themselves—I try not to speak beyond my understanding. My work is rooted in personal recovery, self-reflection, and the lessons I’ve gathered along the way.
If you ask me what’s been most important in my recovery, it’s this: writing down my philosophies over the years and keeping an ongoing inner dialogue. In many ways, this entire series feels like a message from my current self to my past self—two versions of me lost at sea together, still searching for the shore.
Sometimes, I can still hear echoes of my noisier, more chaotic past in my mind. Today, I can take a deep breath and laugh at the many personalities I “tried on” throughout my life. Looking back, my path was winding, filled with pain and suffering. But those experiences allowed me to understand things far better than if I had just read about them in books.
While I’ve never identified with specific psychological diagnoses, I’ve often joked that I’ve exhibited just about all of them at some point: ADD, mild depression, paranoia, antisocial tendencies, narcissism, and even phases of psychopathy. Beneath all those character defects, though, was a boy who wanted to do better. Was that glimmer of hope rooted in self-esteem? Self-preservation? A sense of morality? Or perhaps just enough love to hold me together? Likely, it was all of these things combined.
What I do know is this: I’ve been able to help many people turn their lives around. I’ve done so not for money, prestige, or popularity—I’ve never been particularly good at those things. I did it because I’ve always had a passion for talking, analyzing, and understanding. This fascination began with my father, and my lifelong interest in psychotherapy helped me develop these skills further.
From a young age, I felt disadvantaged compared to people who seemed to have come from loving, stable homes. Yet, as I grew older, I realized that even those who described their childhoods as “idyllic” often struggled with neuroses and self-destructive behaviors. It made me question: is a loving childhood truly enough? Or does the larger environment—society itself—need to be in a good place to produce truly “healthy” individuals?
Imagine growing up in Nazi Germany, or during the time of slavery and genocide in early America. Even with a loving family, how could you escape the anxiety and horror of the world around you? Or consider the chaos of living in the wild West—a land filled with corruption, violence, and lawlessness. No matter how nurturing our childhoods may be, it’s nearly impossible to insulate ourselves from the turmoil of the outside world.
This external chaos, I believe, is the origin of the pervasive anxiety that has plagued humanity for thousands of years. It’s evident in how we’ve treated the planet and each other. And yet, my philosophy on addiction is simple: relief is always just a few deep, meaningful breaths away.
We can analyze our thoughts and feelings endlessly, but at some point, we have to feel—to inhale deeply, experience the sensations, stay grounded in our bodies, and surrender to the moment as it passes. This is advanced work, but it’s what we strive for.
In the early stages of recovery, when we put down one addiction, we often find ourselves picking up another. Hopefully, the new addiction is a step in the right direction, but often it’s just a continuation of the same subconscious patterns. We mistakenly believe we’re making conscious choices, but in truth, we’re deeply influenced—and often enslaved—by our past.
The way out of this cycle is to quiet the anxious mind and find a state of relaxation. This shift brings us back to the frontal and prefrontal cortex of the brain—the part responsible for intelligence, morality, and much more than we yet understand. My theory is that this part of the brain evolved to help humanity move beyond reactivity and violence, which threaten our survival. It is, quite literally, the key to our evolution.
The moment we are born, we feel the cold atmosphere on our skin. We feel hunger, discomfort, and the craving for touch. That’s when the “anxiety buzz” begins. From that moment, life becomes a search for comfort, a quest to recreate moments of relaxation and safety. For some, that quest is harder due to circumstances or chemistry, but I believe the frontal cortex is where evolution wants us to be—calm, intelligent, and connected.
Thousands of years ago, aggression and violence may have been essential for survival. Today, however, the fittest among us are those who are docile, intelligent, and able to relax their brains and be present. These are the people who create healthier offspring and a more sustainable future.
For us, the journey must be to return to that relaxed state of mind—whether we experienced it briefly in childhood or are learning it for the first time. This requires effort. We must put down our addictions, learn to manage anxiety, and restructure our thoughts and behaviors. It takes time, but immediate relief is available to those who practice passionately and consistently.
The ancient sages referred to this sense of peace as enlightenment. It’s much more profound than temporary euphoria. Enlightenment, if it exists, is the opposite of addiction—it’s liberation from chronic anxiety and suffering. It’s a state of peace, even in the face of pain or death.
This book could have been a collection of poems, or a short 75-page manual, but I chose to make it comprehensive—to give you a detailed guide for navigating this journey. This is only the beginning. Take your time, value each lesson, and learn from all sources—not just mine.
Addiction describes negative or destructive behavior patterns. It’s as ancient as humanity itself and just as widespread—almost everyone has at least one form of addiction. These habits can range from the relatively harmless, like chewing too much gum, to the truly catastrophic, such as waging war, spreading terror, killing, and destroying land.
Addiction can be further explained as a set of compulsive* patterns in both our thinking and behavior, driven by the discomfort of anxiety sensations and our need to find comfort and escape from an anxious state of mind. Unlike good habits, which are productive and beneficial to life, addiction has the potential for negative and destructive effects over time.
We are powerless over addiction when we are unaware of it and lack the mental strength to overcome it. We continue to repeat these behaviors and thought patterns uncontrollably unless we reach a breaking point, become aware, become willing to change, and find the power and guidance to do so.
There are many paths to achieving these changes.
It is important to note that the fundamental patterns of addiction remain consistent across human societies, with no new underlying causes emerging. However, each generation tends to develop entirely new forms of addictive behaviors, such as addiction to screen time and social media since the early 2000s.
Addiction is a multifaceted challenge—a painful reality for those who experience it—deeply intertwined with emotional struggles, psychological battles, and the relentless pursuit of freedom from persistent, deeply rooted anxiety. Some of us are aware of the presence of anxiety while others are not. Regardless, the presence of addiction implies the presence of chronic anxiety.
To truly understand addiction, one must explore the complex interplay between our ancestors' genes, our mother's chemistry during pregnancy (in utero), societal influences, our family of origin and inherent programming, the formation of ego structures, the subconscious mind, and our conscious choices. This deep dive reveals how these elements intertwine, shaping our actions and perpetuating the cycle of addiction.
Addictive behaviors are widespread in all cultures, suggesting that addiction is a universal human condition that transcends sex, race, religion, intellectual, economic, political, and technological boundaries. Addiction manifests as ancient mental disturbances embedded in the collective fabric of our species, dating back eons. Undoubtedly, the root causes of addiction are tied to our developmental years, personal experiences, and individual makeup. Logic dictates that present-day addiction is influenced by the prevailing currents of collective consciousness and the historical impact of addicted individuals on society. Addiction represents a series of cause-and-effect patterns that trace back to our earliest ancestors and extend to our evolutionary relatives.
All the psychological problems humans encounter are part of an unimaginable web of interconnected relationships among individuals, existing since the dawn of our existence. For example, when we light up a cigarette during a lunch break, this compulsion could be linked to deep-seated disruptions from early human traumatic experiences. Consider a distant archaic ancestor who was struck on the head by a rival; in response, he sought revenge. The anxiety-based behaviors that followed, such as smoking, are connected to this pivotal moment. Unfortunately, we do not yet have a precise way to link modern addictive behaviors directly to specific ancestral events. However, by reflecting on the connections between various factors, we can better understand and achieve our goals in addressing addiction.
Fortunately, we do not need to revisit the behaviors of our Neanderthal and Cro-Magnon cousins to find relaxation and cessation of mental suffering. We need only understand what happened to us in our formative years. The mystery of addiction is revealed through studying our own history.
For the good of humanity, it is essential that we strive to break the link between past generations, ourselves, and our descendants, including all creatures and matter affected by our actions. Recovery from addiction is not just about personal self-improvement; it serves a higher purpose.
Primary Objectives:
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Personal Survival: Ensuring our own well-being and mental health.
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Helping Our Species to Carry On: Contributing to the resilience and sustainability of humanity.
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Ensuring Life on Earth Continues: Promoting actions that support the continued existence and flourishing of life on our planet.
Addiction is not a mystery to those who are well-informed; it is neither a punishment from a vengeful deity nor solely determined by our genetics, much like the color of our eyes. While genetics do influence our vulnerability to addiction, far more significant factors include our family background, societal influences, and various other causes and effects.