Self-talk is a normal function of the human mind. We can divide it into two fundamental categories: negative self-talk and positive self-talk. It is also useful to divide our awareness into two states. In the first, we are conscious of the self-talk we are having. In the second, we are self-talking without knowing it.
Unconscious self-talk goes wherever it wants. It looks like obsession and worry. It gravitates toward negative concepts and negative perspectives. Conscious self-talk does not dwell. It looks for the right action.
The work of self-help requires that a person become aware of unconscious self-talk and redirect it toward positive self-talk, whether or not those positive concepts feel entirely true in the moment. Positive self-talk leads to positive action. If the world is on fire, unconscious negative self-talk will fixate on the flames, see everything burning, and eventually panic. Conscious positive self-talk will acknowledge the fire and then look for survival solutions.
How do we get there? We first have to understand it as a concept. Then we have to go to the very beginning of learning to control the mind. This does not happen overnight. Controlling the mind requires self-development and nervous system regulation. It also requires walking through a great deal of information stored in the mind that is damaged and corrupt, data we carry from early childhood and from every experience that startled us, overwhelmed us, or made us feel unsafe.
The work begins with breathing. And then it goes much further than that.