(Book Excerpts)
While writing this self-help series on addiction, I often imagined who might be reading it. Initially, I hoped this work would appeal to those struggling with the mildest forms of addiction—people who might be interested in a self-help series addressing the common negative habits many of us fall into, like an Amazon Prime shopping addiction or excessive screen time. However, I soon realized that the reality is different: it's more likely that only the most persistent addicts would pick up a series of books like this. And of those, even fewer will read far enough into them to uncover the simple lessons I’ve learned through my own recovery.
Volume One of this three-volume series focuses on the root causes of addiction, particularly how anxiety and childhood trauma manifest as addictive behaviors. This volume presents a fresh perspective on addiction, shifting away from the conventional view of it as merely a series of behaviors. Instead, it recognizes addiction as a profound emotional and attachment disorder. At its core, addiction is rooted in deep-seated, chronic feelings of anxiety.
It explores how addiction can be a cycle of obsession and compulsion, affecting not only substances but behaviors like codependency and obsessive thinking. With an emphasis on mindfulness, the book provides tools to break free from these patterns, including meditation, breathwork, and journaling. Through personal stories, the author also addresses how confronting childhood experiences and reparenting oneself can be pivotal steps in breaking lifelong cycles of addiction. Ultimately, Volume One sets the stage for transformation, encouraging readers to take responsibility for their healing journey and offering foundational strategies for recovery.
Volume Two moves beyond the basic framework of addiction and delves deeper into the process of healing through therapy and emotional growth. It emphasizes the importance of therapy as a powerful tool for breaking the cycles of addiction, anxiety, and childhood trauma. This volume covers various therapeutic approaches, from traditional talk therapy to modern self-help resources like podcasts and books, and introduces the idea of personal empowerment through connection and self-awareness. Healing from childhood trauma, understanding emotional resilience, and rebuilding self-esteem are key themes, offering readers practical advice for navigating triggers, emotional reactions, and the complexities of relationships. Volume Two also explores the significance of self-help in strengthening relationships, offering guidance on supporting a partner’s emotional growth and learning to build deeper, more fulfilling connections.
Volume Three completes the series by focusing on holistic practices that support long-term recovery and personal growth. It emphasizes the integration of physical health, mindfulness, and spiritual practices in the recovery journey. Chapters cover topics like yoga, Tai Chi, and fitness, highlighting their role in managing anxiety and promoting emotional stability. The book also revisits the 12-step recovery process, offering a more personalized approach to this framework and addressing the deeper roots of addiction, including the importance of community, sponsorship, and maintaining healthy boundaries. Alongside these tools, Volume Three explores the power of service, gratitude, and healthy relationships in maintaining sobriety and fostering growth. It concludes with practical advice on staying on the recovery path, integrating newfound wisdom into daily life, and finding strength and creativity beyond addiction.
This work is thorough and well-researched. It is so extensive that I believe there must be a handful of philosophies proposed here that everyone can agree upon. However, there are areas where my views may differ. For example, my thoughts on addiction being compared to a disease are not in alignment with the conventional view, and I disagree with that perspective. That’s just my opinion. I’ve also met many seasoned members of the Fellowship who might feel that I’m not "keeping it simple" enough for what they are accustomed to. They may be right. But there are different types of addicts. Some people can fully embrace the 12-step philosophy for many valid reasons, and I do because I love 12-step recovery—it was pivotal in providing the foundation for whatever knowledge I possess. I value the raw stories and the not-for-profit mentality of AA’s service work. AA works, for sure. It works in stopping the drinking and transforming us from total wrecks into human beings again. But it is not a fast track to mental relaxation or to the cessation of all addictions—not just the least favorable ones—and it has little to offer when it comes to our most difficult challenge in life: managing our relationships. We need more than just sobriety; we need to be restored to sanity and become enlightened, happy, joyous, and free. If you find your path to that freedom through your own methods, they are sacred. This book series is an amalgamation of all the sacred teachings and teachers I’ve encountered along my journey. Amen.
Initially, I focused primarily on addiction and the family-of-origin traumas that fuel our compulsions. Over time, however, my attention shifted to these two words: "chronic anxiety." These words are game-changers—for addicts and for those already on the recovery path. They cut straight to the heart of our suffering and highlight the underlying cause of the destructive behaviors we turn to for temporary relief. This work is my exploration of suffering, anxiety, and relief, and I hope it offers the support you need as you continue reading.
This volume specifically addresses chronic anxiety and negative behavior patterns, with a focus on high-functioning individuals who may be experiencing dysfunction. It is intended for those who are capable of self-initiating life-saving methodologies. Effective self-help requires the ability to objectively assess how one’s character traits, childhood experiences, personality, addictions, and neuroses influence their life, without bias. Taking meaningful action toward the most skillful outcomes is essential. Without this awareness and initiative, alleviating suffering and effectively managing anxiety becomes incredibly difficult.
The miracle in my life is that I can write this with tears of joy, reflecting on the 15-year-old boy I once was—sitting at the dining room table in 1985, crying in fear as I faced my struggles with drugs and alcohol. I longed for safety. Years later, I am amazed by the wild journey I’ve experienced and the valuable insights I now have to share. I am thrilled to offer guidance that can help you reconnect with your higher self. Some individuals may require intervention, as they are beyond self-actualization or remain stuck in destructive patterns despite efforts to help. This is not a judgment; it is simply a reality. However, the fact that you are reading this book indicates that you are among those who are ready to take a step forward.
If you resonate with my journey from 1985, you might be grappling with the uncertainty that comes with the need for change. You may feel the urgency to start over, even if you're unsure of how to proceed. From this moment on, a universe of possibilities opens up to you. With your first deep breath, you embark on a unique self-help journey—a path filled with surprises, pain, joy, anxiety, realizations, and profound discoveries about your true nature.
You and I are not the first to struggle with coping; it may feel that way in this moment on your journey. Whether it's your first realization or a repeated awakening after relapses, that feeling is a sign of hope. Recognizing that you need to improve is a profound awakening, and you can get better if you stay committed to the path.
Embrace this ancient, honorable journey. Strive to develop your highest potential. Step out of the shadows, learn from your past, heal, and cultivate unwavering character. Let go of the selfish, childish patterns rooted in anxiety and the shortcomings of the systems that shaped us. We have all faced mistreatment or neglect, influenced not just by our families but also by schools, society, and the collective consciousness. Until now, we may have reacted helplessly, trapped in destructive cycles. Now, your higher self is ready to guide you toward a new chapter.
This next phase of our lives will take time to unfold, but with determination and spirit, we can reach the top rung of the psychological ladder. The teachings I share are not solely my own; they are interpretations of timeless wisdom passed down through cultures over thousands of years. I embrace these teachings, and they provide me with safety and calm. As I write, I find peace in helping you discover your own.
Trust that I will be your guide—I seek nothing from you. I kept this series of books fairly anonymous to allow my words to resonate without distraction or doubt. When the time comes, I hope you will take what you've learned, infuse it with your own truth, and pass it on to others.
The effectiveness of this series hinges on one key factor: your willingness to act. By simply picking it up, you’ve already begun your journey. In moments of crisis, feel free to jump ahead to practical tools, such as improving your breathing or calming your mind. When you're ready, revisit the deeper philosophy.
Start by taking slow, deep breaths. Feel the rhythm of your inhalation and exhalation. With each breath, settle into the present moment. Congratulations—you’ve taken your first step toward mindfulness.
This practice may seem simple, but it is transformative. Over time, you’ll notice anxiety diminishing, addictive patterns loosening their grip, and clarity emerging. Your breath will serve as your guide; keep returning to it, and allow it to lead you toward peace.
I began writing this series of books as a personal exploration of my recovery journey, particularly focusing on the fourth step of the twelve-step program. This step goes beyond simply listing resentments or reflecting on past hurts; it involves deep journaling that reveals the complexity of the human mind. Writing as if I were offering guidance to someone seeking help helped me clarify my thoughts and gain new perspectives. In this journey, I became both a teacher and a student.
While this series isn’t endorsed by any specific program, including Alcoholics Anonymous or other anonymous groups, I hold the twelve-step framework in high regard for its profound impact on countless lives. Recovery is a deeply personal journey, and each of us must discover and address the missing pieces along the way. Even after overcoming destructive behaviors, we require ongoing guidance, reflection, and healing.
My anonymity is intentional, keeping the focus on the message rather than the messenger. You are not alone; together, we can ascend toward our higher selves. May this series of books serve as a guide as you navigate the challenges ahead. Thank you for your time, for bringing my words to life, and for allowing me to walk this path with you. Alone, I am nothing; together, we are a force of nature.
This three-volume series is comprehensive, and I trust that at least one idea within these pages has the potential to change your life forever. Enjoy the journey.