I’m not writing to people who had consistent love throughout their childhood, who didn’t experience lasting traumatic events that went unsupported by their caretakers. I’m not addressing those with high self-esteem and a balanced emotional and psychological world. They don’t need to read this because they have balance in their mind. Negative thoughts don’t constantly rise, and when they do, they have a process to restore themselves to a sense of relaxation.
In contrast, you and I take quite a long time to bring ourselves back down to a relaxed state when triggered into anxiety. We often have to use things like fantasy, denial, grandiosity, arguing, distractions like entertainment, TV, mobile devices, spending money, working hard, sex, exercise, drugs, alcohol, and food. Even this writing is born from my increased heart rate and sense of a lack of well-being. It followed me to bed last night. I did my breathing exercises, lovingly put the kids to sleep, hugged and kissed my wife, then went off to obsess and wonder why things happen the way they do.
I remember many years ago I had the same feelings when waking up at 6:30 in the morning, and by eight, I was climbing onto a skydiving airplane, free-falling 15 minutes later. What a way to distract from one kind of uncontrollable anxiety with another type of controllable anxiety, like skydiving. Then you land safely, and you’re a hero to yourself. With the baseline of a skydive, the rest of my day was relaxing. I trigger easily when I’m lonely, fearful of financial insecurity, bored, or dealing with relationship problems. Many cope with these feelings through substances, but as dependency grows, it becomes harder to maintain a normal life sober.
Breaking free from chronic anxiety and addiction requires rebuilding our mindset and creating new mental structures, which takes time and a lot of help from people who are working on this. Practice, practice, practice. We must develop habits and rituals to care for our physical and mental well-being, like connecting with nature, having a sense of purpose, maintaining physical health, and practicing gratitude. We must become willing to do these things or the situation becomes hopeless.
We have to change our breathing patterns. By learning to take long, slow, deep breaths, we can start to relax our minds and make wiser choices. My most significant changes came from understanding my yoga practice and integrating ancient teachings with modern philosophy. Daily writing, reading, and listening to lectures have also been crucial for countering negative thoughts.
We need to recognize and address anxiety’s nature, developing automatic reactions to stress that promote relaxation. This path requires continuous effort, but it’s essential for finding balance and harmony in our lives.