By now, I hope you’ve considered the wide range of addictive behaviors and obsessive thinking patterns human beings are capable of. Every person is a unique set of circumstances, no two people share the exact same chemistry at the exact same moment. That’s why recovery programs must be adjusted to fit each individual’s situation.
It’s important to understand that Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) is not the same as addiction, although they can overlap.
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OCD is an anxiety disorder marked by intrusive, unwanted thoughts (obsessions) and repetitive actions or mental rituals (compulsions) performed to reduce distress. These actions are not 322pleasurable, they are done to relieve anxiety.
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Addiction is compulsive engagement with a substance or behavior despite harmful consequences, usually because it produces pleasure, relief, or an altered state.
An individual with OCD may have such a high baseline of anxiety that they turn to substances or behaviors for relief, and that can develop into addiction. But being an addict does not automatically mean you have OCD, and having OCD does not automatically make you an addict.
I’ve been close to people with severe OCD, romantic partners, a business partner, even my grandmother. I became aware of the pattern early in life and studied it closely. After I quit all substance addictions, there was a period when I wasn’t doing my breathing and relaxation work, which I now see as the foundation of mental health recovery. Without that foundation, my addictions shifted into OCD tendencies, mainly perfectionism in building and maintaining my stores.
As my awareness grew, I was fortunate to be deeply engaged with relaxation practices that helped me loosen the grip of those tendencies. Mastering OCD completely will likely take me another decade, but without that awareness, I doubt I could have finished this book. My perfectionism might have reduced it to fragments of poetic lines instead of full explanations. I’ve learned that without clarity, too much is left to imagination and interpretation.
I speak about psychology in the same way I speak about anything else I’ve lived through, from my own experience. I’m not pretending to be the final authority. I know there is deeper knowledge in the academic field, and I welcome disagreement. My responsibility is to be transparent about my limitations, share what has worked for me, and practice what I teach.
Anonymity has helped me do that. It frees me from the need for attention or praise and allows me to express my ideas exactly as I’ve experienced them. Writing in this way has not only helped others, as I know from feedback around the world, it has also deepened my own understanding of the material.
When I first began writing these books, I thought I could talk about recovery without focusing much on anxiety. But a few years in, I had breakthroughs that changed my view completely. I started hearing key words differently, words about the nervous system, regulation, and chemistry. I realized I had never thought seriously about what it meant to regulate my nervous system. Seeing my emotional difficulties in that light was revolutionary for me. It made my problems feel human and natural.
Now, I never skip my relaxation practices. They take priority over everything else in my recovery. I can feel anxiety building in my body before it reaches my mind. That tension tells me I need to return to center. Most people in the modern world live above baseline relaxation, in a mild but constant state of anxiety. Then life piles on its bigger triggers, marriage, children, financial pressures, relationship breakups, the death of a loved one, illness, war, or even the stress of watching someone you love suffer.
Understanding this has helped me see that both addiction and OCD share a common fuel: unregulated anxiety. When we learn to regulate it, through breath, awareness, and daily practice, we give ourselves a chance to live free from both.