The Queen Bee of Addiction (Why Obsession Isn’t a Disorder—It’s an Evolutionary Program That’s Overstayed Its Welcome)
I want to start by sharing the one addiction I’ve wrestled with more than any other: obsessive thinking. What some might label OCD. But let me be clear—I don’t use the word disorder anymore. I’ve come to believe that obsession and compulsion are not mistakes or malfunctions. They’re part of our evolutionary design.
Our minds were built this way—on purpose. Obsessive and compulsive tendencies were essential tools for survival. The species that ruminated, worried, prepared, and acted compulsively were more likely to outlive the ones that sat back in bliss. Hyper-vigilance, anxiety, fear, repetition—these traits got us through the jungle, through famine, through war. But what helped us survive early humanity is now quietly wrecking us in modern life.
The problem isn’t that we’re obsessed. The problem is that we never got the manual for how to turn it off. We never learned how to train it. We never learned how to be present without it.
This addiction is invisible. It doesn’t leave bruises or track marks. We can look completely functional on the outside and be suffering on the inside. We can be trapped in thought loops, flooded with anxiety, stuck in compulsive behaviors—and still be smiling at dinner.
That’s what makes it the queen bee of addiction. It’s silent. It’s socially acceptable. And it feeds every other destructive behavior in the hive. But something is shifting.
Without even knowing it, humans are beginning to come out of the fog. The fog of war, of trauma, of unprocessed grief and confusion. For the first time in history, the tides may be turning on the ancient dominance of aggression and violence. Consciousness is rising—not everywhere, not all at once—but the movement is real.
We are the apex creature. And for the first time, maybe we’re strong enough to choose peace. To regulate our own minds.
To heal our obsession—not by erasing it, but by transforming it.
So, my dear friend, read this as a wake-up call. A loving one. It's time to begin the work of evolving your mind.
And don’t worry—it’s not as hard as you think. In fact, it’s much easier than holding on to sorrow, regret, or destructive patterns that eat away at your joy. The work starts with one simple act: breathing. Every day. No days off. You return to your breath like it’s home base—because it is.
Find your center in the breath. Show up for it no matter what. Even when you feel crazy, scattered, or terrified—you breathe through it like your life depends on it. Because in a way, it does.
The joy? That comes later. Maybe not in the first ten tries. Maybe not in the first 300. But eventually, it does. I promise.
It’s harder work than pulling the handle on a 7-Eleven slushie machine, but easier than flying a commercial jet. And far more important. I’m writing this to you now because I know you’re open. You’re receptive. Something cracked open inside you—maybe from pain, maybe from longing—and now’s the moment to learn.
In those moments of fear, remember: that’s anxiety doing its job. It’s trying to alert you, to get you to fix something, to protect your life from a perceived threat. But the loop doesn’t end unless you take the wheel. And you can.
You take control by stepping outside yourself. Not literally—but in your mind. Visualize yourself rising above your body, sitting beside yourself, watching from a higher place. This isn’t escape—it’s awareness. You see your ideal self—calm, loving, grounded—and you observe without judgment. You listen.
Then you ask:
- How do I improve my life?
- How do I open my heart?
- Where is my love?
- How do I relax?
- How do I see the deeper truths in this one and only lifetime?
Ask—and then breathe.
Record yourself reading this text. Play it back to yourself for a simple meditation. Breathe slowly through your nose—fully in, fully out—as many times as you can without straining. Don’t overcomplicate it. Don’t chase technique. Just breathe.
You’ll learn more as you go. You’ll refine your breath with time.
(And when you're ready to master it, go grab my book Meditation. Available at any of our 200 goodsugar locations scattered around the world. Not yet. But I’m working on it.)