If we cultivate any degree of maturity, we will realize that we all have character defects. I once heard a cliché that character defects are actually character defenses, protecting us from emotional pain that we experienced in our youth. Another perspective is that our defects are defenses that have become defective over time. One of my own character defenses is that I struggle to acknowledge my defects. I prefer to present myself as the best version of myself, walking confidently, with everything in my life perfectly aligned. But as I've grown older, I've come to accept that life can never be perfect. Circumstances will always throw curveballs at us, and we are all interconnected through generations of history filled with pain and dysfunction.
So, how do we change? The first step is awareness. We must be willing to see our defects, which can be difficult if our lives are filled with distractions and addictions. Writing can be a powerful tool in this process. Start by writing about your personality and experiences, creating an inner dialogue to help you dig deep and unearth your true feelings. It takes time and practice to uncover these hidden aspects of yourself, but it is a crucial first step towards change.
In addition to writing, creating a list of tasks that need to be accomplished can help you stay organized and focused. Break your list down into categories, such as relationships, work, physical health, and mental well-being. Once you have your list, practice prayer and meditation to visualize yourself completing these tasks. If you find yourself hesitating, remind yourself of your goals and why they are important to you.
It's important to approach change with willingness and empowerment. Recognize that you are in control of your own actions and reactions, and take responsibility for both your successes and failures. Be gentle with yourself, understanding that change takes time and effort. Avoid setting unrealistic goals that only serve to create unnecessary anxiety. Stay present in each moment and focus on the task at hand, allowing yourself to be guided by a sense of empowerment and purpose. Change is possible, but it requires patience, self-reflection, and a willingness to grow.