One of the most profound insights I’ve gathered in nearly 40 years of recovery is the ever-present nature of chronic anxiety—a truth that, though always within reach, remained hidden until I learned to truly see it. My journey has been anything but linear, unfolding as a winding path of discovery and healing. In those early days of sobriety, the signs of anxiety were not as apparent as they are now, even though their clarity is undeniable in hindsight.
For many years, my struggles with relationships, addiction, and unresolved childhood experiences were the sole focus of psychotherapy. Today, I recognize that this approach—along with traditional methods in 12-step recovery and practices within our broader correctional systems—has often overlooked a crucial point: understanding the innate design of the human mind. Instead of merely addressing symptoms, the emphasis should have been on recognizing the sensations of anxiety and developing effective down-regulation skills. Our central nervous system, with its complex responses to life's myriad triggers, deserves immediate and heartfelt attention—a truth that has too often been neglected.
I deeply identify with the continuous undercurrent of anxiety. As an active skydiver for many years, I was constantly aware of the possibility of death—a silent specter that made it challenging to focus or plan for the future. That experience was just one form of anxiety among many: feelings of desperate loneliness, low self-esteem, and fears about financial security, all interwoven with the unresolved anxieties of my childhood. In my early days, I sensed the psychological wounds inflicted during that time, but I struggled to see how these experiences could be woven together into a path toward healing. I understood anxiety in the abstract, yet only later did I fully appreciate its deep influence on my brain, my body’s chemistry, and the overall tapestry of my life.
While I hold a sincere respect for psychotherapy, I have also questioned how traditional approaches can foster prolonged dependency. It wasn’t until around the age of 50 that I discovered a way of engaging in therapy that truly resonated with my spirit—a reminder that every path to healing is unique, and that all approaches are, in many ways, works in progress. Embracing these insights, I continue to seek a balance between acknowledging the realities of anxiety and nurturing a deeper, more spiritually enlightened perspective.
Reflecting on modern psychological theories, I’ve come to see that many so-called scientific facts are, in reality, carefully constructed beliefs. Newly trained therapists are often steeped in longstanding paradigms that can limit their growth. Even as they refine their perspectives with experience, many may never fully transcend these inherited views. Instead, what is truly needed is a focus on methods that guide us into a state of deep relaxation—where the parasympathetic response nurtures true enlightenment and heightened consciousness. This, I believe, is the foundation of any transformative practice.
I envision a therapeutic model that begins with a robust introduction to the workings of the human brain. From the very first session, we would focus on understanding neuroscience, the chemistry of our bodies, and the ways our emotions and defense mechanisms are shaped by early life experiences. Before delving into the narratives of our childhoods, we would learn the basics of how our minds function—an essential step to avoid getting lost in needless details. With this knowledge as our guide, the next stage of healing might involve committing to daily practices—engaging in a few minutes of dedicated breathing exercises and a modest amount of journaling, much like earning a symbolic “yellow belt” in the art of self-care.
We know from experience that these techniques offer real benefits. Even if writing, meditating, or mindful breathing does not yield immediate dramatic changes, the simple commitment to these practices sets the stage for gradual improvement. There is no instant fix—no electronic chip to rewire our minds overnight—but with persistent practice and a leap of faith, breath work can slowly transform our mental landscape. Although instructions for meditation have often been vague through the centuries, their timeless essence remains: cultivating patience, presence, and a deeper connection to our inner selves is indispensable on the path toward healing and spiritual awakening.
Traditionally, meditation was taught with minimal instruction—a master would simply direct a student to sit, breathe, and discover the practice’s deeper meaning for themselves. While this method may work in settings with dedicated guides, it is less feasible in a fast-paced world where time and resources are limited. Catastrophes, whether natural or human-driven, remind us that we cannot always afford the luxury of slow, unfolding lessons. Meanwhile, issues such as starvation continue to claim lives every day, underscoring the urgency of cultivating genuine inner calm.
An anxious mind, by its very nature, tends toward self-centeredness—a trait that once served our survival. Rather than trying to fight or manipulate the sympathetic nervous system, the most effective approach is to train ourselves to recognize when we enter a state of heightened arousal and guide ourselves back to the calm of the parasympathetic state. This practice requires consistent discipline, awareness, and a willingness to engage regularly with mindful breathing and self-observation. By cultivating this skill, we can navigate the space between stress and deep relaxation, ultimately nurturing not only our well-being but our capacity to care for others.
The elegance of this insight is transformative. You no longer need to dissect every childhood memory or wait for your addictions to run their course before embracing change. In the gentle embrace of a parasympathetic state, you find an innate connection to a higher presence—beyond labels or formal rituals. While studying psychology and philosophy can enrich your understanding, true liberation comes from grasping the essence of anxiety and learning to master it from within.
This approach holds true for every soul, regardless of past actions or inner turmoil. No matter how far someone might have strayed—even if they have committed grievous acts—the simple act of taking a mindful, deep breath can serve as a turning point. By consciously observing each breath, you create a space to explore your inner landscape. Whether during quiet meditation or while moving through the day, directing your focus step by step prevents the wandering mind from descending into obsessions, daydreams, or needless worries. Each mindful breath becomes a reclaimed moment—a chance to cultivate spiritual growth and seize the precious time that might otherwise be lost.
In a world inundated with quick bursts of excitement, satisfaction, and instant gratification, it is more important than ever to distill our message to its essence. When our basic needs are met and we are no longer under constant threat, why cling to the pursuit of immediate rewards? Instead, we can slow down, embrace contentment, and invest our time in exploring life’s deeper mysteries. We can devote ourselves to service, nurture meaningful relationships with family, friends, and society, and even extend compassion to the animals we have long mistreated.
Consider that anxiety may steer you toward a version of yourself that feels incongruent with who you truly are. In moments of calm, your gentle, compassionate self emerges. Yet when anxiety takes hold—even if it fuels remarkable achievements—it can obscure that inner kindness, making empathy and compassion harder to access. By consciously embracing practices such as mindful breathing and reflective awareness, you can reconnect with your true nature and transcend the compulsions of instant gratification.
It is nearly impossible for an anxious mind to experience true peace when overwhelmed by its own reactions. Our design enables us to feel anxious in response to countless triggers throughout the day, yet it also equips us with the ability to down-regulate that anxiety—a process once supported by community, ritual, and shared experience. In ancient tribal societies, ceremonies, celebrations, and rites of passage helped restore balance during moments of distress. Imagine a tribe of 200, where one person’s unchecked anxiety could affect the entire group. A resilient community might support that individual, but without such support, disruptive dynamics could reverberate through generations.
Our world today is a tapestry of both positive contributions and deep-seated pain. While many people do good—allowing humanity to endure and evolve—the suffering we witness is rooted in a long history of abuse, dysfunction, and unresolved trauma. Problematic leadership, for example, is not born overnight; it is shaped by early childhood experiences, familial influences, and systemic issues that compound over time. Ultimately, a collective, often unconscious state of chronic anxiety touches us all, even when we struggle to articulate it.
By sharing common triggers and the addictions that arise from our anxieties, I hope to demonstrate the precision of my teachings. I acknowledge that my perspective is only one facet of the vast human experience. I recognize that those who identify as women may face unique challenges—such as the fear of violation or the weight of societal expectations—that I can only begin to understand. Similarly, the anxieties experienced by individuals in high-stress roles, whether in military service, law enforcement, or firefighting, are both distinct and profound. May these reflections inspire a more compassionate, holistic approach to healing—one that honors the diverse tapestry of human experience and nurtures our collective journey toward inner peace and spiritual enlightenment.
In conclusion, I have spent nearly 40 years writing—often in a mishmash, sometimes even sloppily. It wasn’t until I was 47 that my writing began to take on a clearer focus. One major turning point was my discovery of digital tools like Google Docs, which allowed me to organize my work by date, title, and keywords. Handwriting, with its slow pace and endless paper clutter, could never keep up with my racing thoughts. If I could start over, I would self-publish 500 books, writing freely and refining my work with the aid of a live editor and artificial intelligence.
This is a beautiful time for all of us. I have acquired a wealth of self-taught knowledge about anxiety, neuroscience, and breathing exercises—lessons learned from some of the finest yoga teachers in New York. I practiced yoga every day, and on days when a class wasn’t possible, I set a personal intention to walk 26 blocks through New York, focusing intently on my breath. Even burdened with a 20-pound backpack and a 10-pound winter jacket, I marched forward, determined to remain present.
What did these practices do for me? They made me a better father and a better husband. They taught me the value of sincere apologies when I made mistakes and provided clarity on my goals for the next 45 years. I aspire to build healthy businesses and continue writing about my discoveries, deepening my understanding of the world. This journey—discovering the root of human suffering and distilling it to the essence of chronic anxiety—remains the most profound insight of my sobriety. I no longer feel the need to debate these ideas because I know, deep down, that this understanding is the transformative work we all need.
List of Common Anxiety Triggers:
| POOR BREATHING HABITS | ARTIFICIAL LIGHT |
| THIRST | DISRESPECT / INSULT |
| HUNGER | DAMAGED SELF ESTEEM |
| TIRED / EXHUASTION | NO SELF ESTEEM |
| PAIN / INJURY | NEWS CYCLES |
| ILLNESS | BAD WEATHER |
| BOREDOM/RESTLESS | FEELING COLD |
| ANY NEGATIVE FEELING | FEELING HOT |
| LONLINESS | ITCHYNESS |
| NEED TO PEE | LACK OF MOBILITY |
| NEED TO POOP | LACK OF FREEDOM |
| NAUSEA | STARTLED |
| FRUSTRATION | PHOBIAS |
| DISAPPOINTMENT | NEED FOR TOUCH |
| IMPATIENCE | MISSING SOMEONE |
| VICTIMIZATION | ANNOYANCE |
| VIOLENCE | CHEMICAL IMBALANCE |
| AGRESSION | LOSS OF CONTROL |
| TAXES | TRAFFIC |
| SHOPPING | BAD SMELLS |
| CROWDS | INCREASED HEART RATE |
| HYPOCONDRIA | CROWDS |
| PARANOIA | CLAUSTRAPHOBIA |
| NOISE | TYRANNY |
| BRIGHT LIGHT | BIGOTRY |
| DARKNESS | RACISM |
| HUMILIATION | TRUTH DENIERS |
| LOVED ONE’S DEATH | FEAR MONGERS |
| VIOLATION OF RIGHTS | FEAR OF BEING VIOLATED |
| SEXUAL HUNGER | DEADLINES |
| FINANCIAL INSECURITY | FEELING PRESSED FOR TIME |
| LOSS | PEER PRESSURE |
| STRENUOUS ACTIVITY | CONFUSSION |
| LACK OF ACTIVITY | CREATIVE BLOCK |
| DISCONNECT FROM NATURE | MENTAL DISORDERS |
| POLLUTION | CRUELTY/ABUSE |
| REFINED FOODS | SCHOOL/TESTS |
| WARFARE | POLITICAL TURMOIL |
| PANDEMICS | NEEDLES |
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Harmony Through Balance
A well-regulated nervous system—where the body is rested and the mind is clear—is exactly what humanity needs to overcome war, greed, starvation, pollution, and widespread unhappiness. To cultivate this state, we must integrate philosophy, logical psychology, modern science, and ancient wisdom by drawing on the compassionate teachings of all cultures and eras. A sustainable, fulfilling life is built on simple yet profound practices: meditate, breathe, exercise, eat well, be of service, rest deeply, wake up, and repeat. By aligning our daily lives with these principles, we create not only personal well-being but also the foundation for a more harmonious world.
Balancing Mind States
Humans possess at least two distinct personality states shaped by our individual thought patterns and behaviors. When we remain too long in what might be called Personality #2—a hyper-anxious state—we often become unaware of its grip. This chronic anxiety breeds a pervasive sense of unease and lies at the root of suffering and conflict, an outcome of our evolutionary design.
Our only true free will may reside in our ability to override the subconscious and make choices that defy our conditioning. To access this freedom, we must cultivate a relaxed nervous system, breaking the cycle of reactive programming. The brain shifts between different regions based on the personality state we inhabit, with each state activating specific neural pathways that shape how we perceive and respond to the world. Our central nervous system operates in distinct modes:
- Fight or Flight – Survival, defense, and action.
- Freeze – Paralysis, overwhelm, and shutdown.
- Relaxed, Feed, or Breed – Rest, connection, healing, and growth.
Countless internal and external triggers—thoughts, emotions, memories, environmental cues, social interactions, and even the foods we eat—can shift us between these states.
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The AmygdalaReaction, fear, and the fight-or-flight response: the hypothalamus activates the sympathetic nervous system, triggering the release of stress hormones such as adrenaline and cortisol. |
The amygdala is the primary brain region responsible for reaction, fear, and the fight-or-flight response. It detects threats and triggers an immediate survival response—often before the prefrontal cortex, our rational brain, has a chance to process the situation.
Other key areas involved in this response include:
- Hypothalamus: Activates the sympathetic nervous system, signaling the release of stress hormones such as adrenaline and cortisol.
- Periaqueductal Gray (PAG): Controls instinctive defensive behaviors, such as freezing or fleeing.
- Locus Coeruleus: Releases norepinephrine, which increases alertness and readiness for action.
In this state, the body redirects energy toward survival by increasing heart rate, blood pressure, and muscle tension, while reducing functions like digestion and higher reasoning. Chronic activation of this system can lead to anxiety, stress disorders, and difficulty making calm, rational decisions.
Regulating the fight-or-flight response through practices like breathwork, mindfulness, and vagal nerve stimulation helps shift the brain back toward balance, allowing the prefrontal cortex to regain control. Breathwork and meditation are lifelong practices—so, practice.
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The Prefrontal CortexCalm, rational thinking, and sound decision-making achieved through proper breathing—where all is one, non-harm, and optimized chemistry.
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The prefrontal cortex (PFC) is essential for higher-order cognitive functions, including decision-making, problem-solving, reasoning, and impulse control. It plays a crucial role in regulating emotions, social behavior, and working memory, enabling us to plan for the future and adapt to complex situations. By suppressing inappropriate responses and supporting goal-directed behavior, the PFC is fundamental for self-discipline and executive function. Damage to this area can result in impulsivity, poor judgment, and difficulties in managing emotions.
The frontal cortex—which includes the PFC—is involved in a wide range of functions such as voluntary movement, speech production, and personality expression. It houses the motor cortex, responsible for controlling muscle movements, and Broca’s area, which is critical for language production. Additionally, the frontal cortex contributes to attention, motivation, and reward processing, making it a key region for learning and behavioral regulation. As one of the most evolutionarily advanced parts of the brain, it empowers humans to engage in complex thought, social interaction, and long-term planning.
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My Theory of Two Distinct Personalities
In essence, I propose that every human embodies two distinct personality states, each with its own set of characteristics, desires, and behaviors.
Personality #1 is governed by the parasympathetic nervous system—a state of calm, clarity, and deep relaxation. This side nurtures our capacity for introspection, creativity, and meaningful connection with others and nature. It influences our tastes, aesthetics, and overall sense of well-being, allowing us to appreciate beauty and experience life’s pleasures.
Personality #2 is dominated by the sympathetic nervous system, marked by anxiety, reactivity, and hyper-vigilance. This state drives our survival instincts, often manifesting as neurosis, impulsivity, and stress responses. It arises in reaction to perceived threats and can lead to a state of chronic alertness that interferes with our ability to enjoy life.
Both personality states contribute to the intricate tapestry of our human experience. The challenge—and opportunity—lies in recognizing when each state is active and learning to harmonize them. By cultivating practices such as mindful breathing, meditation, and self-reflection, we can strengthen our parasympathetic side and manage the impacts of our sympathetic reactions, ultimately achieving a more balanced and resilient state of being.
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| Personality #1: A Mature, Mindful, Disciplined, and Rational Presence | 
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Personality #2: An Immature, Reactionary, Obsessive, Addictive, and Irrational State |
Personality #1: Relaxed, spontaneous, and positive; loving, joyous, and light; curious, natural, and free; giving, kind, and generous; happy, wise, and healing; intimate, compassionate, and radiating healthy self-esteem.
Personality #2: Anxious, rigid, and negative; hateful, arrogant, and impulsive; compulsive, addictive, and stingy; deceitful, cranky, and ignorant; unhappy, closed-minded, and distant; hurtful, abrasive, and lacking self-esteem.
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Healing Through Breath Awareness
We are all unique—no two individuals share the exact same chemistry at any given moment. For many, life begins with a baseline of anxiety, and peace may seem elusive until we uncover its root causes, heal past wounds, and replace negative conditioning with healthier patterns.
The human body is designed to function under multiple triggers at once, yet early childhood experiences and a concept known as vagal toning—the tuning of the vagus nerve in response to chronic anxiety—can impair our ability to manage these challenges. Persistent anxiety can generate a cascade of negative emotions, including fear, anger, jealousy, hate, bigotry, and even violence. An anxious mind tends to seek conflict and, in doing so, often attracts it. Over time, being trapped in an anxious state erodes our thoughts, pulling us into cycles of negativity and despair. In our attempts to escape, we may lose ourselves in constant activity and obsessive thought patterns, while our bodies release a flood of hormones that lead to unskillful reactions. In such heightened states, our breathing becomes erratic, further intensifying our anxiety.
Moreover, we often adopt poor breathing habits—such as shallow breathing—by mirroring those around us. As beings increasingly disconnected from nature and immersed in synthetic environments, with limited movement, unhealthy diets, and neglected self-care, we inadvertently reinforce this cycle of dysfunction.
The path to discovery and recovery begins with self-awareness. We must recognize the various personalities we inhabit, cultivate a willingness to change, and take accountability for what we wish to transform. Seeking guidance and committing to the work is essential. A crucial part of this process is developing breathing techniques that incorporate mental focus to regulate the nervous system. By learning to breathe properly, we can relax, lower our heart rate, and release physical tension. We must also move, eat well, sleep soundly, and act with intention—and continue practicing these habits, even when faced with skepticism, denial, or resistance.
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Mindful Balance Practice
Philosophy can be a relaxing pursuit, yet it can also keep the mind highly active, sometimes leading to stress or heightened alertness. In this sense, philosophical analysis acts as a transition—an intellectual exercise that, once completed, allows the mind to settle into a more relaxed state. The goal is to move beyond overthinking and excessive mental activity, ultimately reaching a state of effortless flow. This state, often described as bliss, is simply an expression of the parasympathetic nervous system in action, where both body and mind experience deep relaxation.
The simplest and most effective way to return to this relaxed state is through proper breathing. By focusing the mind on the breath and removing any mental barriers between awareness and the act of breathing, one can quickly shift from stress into calm. Breath control provides a direct pathway to relaxation, allowing the nervous system to reset and the body to experience the profound ease of a fully present, unburdened mind.
Even once we return to a relaxed state, we must continue to engage with life. The mind still has its role—it must think, strategize, analyze, predict, plan, focus, take action, and enjoy. The key is to do so without harming ourselves or others, and without creating unnecessary distractions. Even in relaxation, there is work to be done, but it should be approached with awareness and balance. By developing techniques while in a parasympathetic state—maintaining good posture and proper breathing—we become more conscious of consciousness itself. The aim is not to eliminate thought, but to refine it, using the mind skillfully without allowing it to disturb our natural state of ease.
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Types of Addictions
While "addiction" is a simple term, it often represents a wide spectrum of negative behavioral patterns.
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Substance Use:
Alcohol, amphetamines, anabolic steroids, caffeine, cannabis, cocaine, nicotine, prescription drugs, and vaping. -
Behavioral Addictions:
Compulsive cleaning, compulsive buying/consumerism, compulsive gambling, and compulsive sexual behavior—including unsafe, anonymous, or exploitative encounters. -
Emotional and Physiological Reactions:
Adrenaline surges, anger flare-ups, chronic anxiety, depression, and suicidal ideation; self-harm (e.g., cutting). -
Interpersonal Dynamics:
Academic snobbery, belittling, bragging, bullying, codependency (an addiction to someone else’s addiction), infidelity, lying, and gossiping. -
Lifestyle and Distraction:
Excessive screen time, social media consumption, video gaming, compulsive shopping, and unhealthy eating patterns (junk food, refined sugar). -
Risky Behaviors & External Influences:
Dangerous sports, speeding, stealing, violent actions (both perpetration and consumption), cryptocurrency and stock trading, and extreme body modifications (tattooing, plastic surgery). -
Ideological and Social Factors:
Conflict, conspiracies, crime, power struggles, bigotry, and religious fanaticism. -
Other Negative Patterns:
Obsessions with macronutrients (protein, carbohydrates, fat), extreme organization, oral fixations, and the constant search for public admiration or attention.