This is an email and a summary of a message I posted on one of Elon’s message pages on X. Just for fun—I’m 99.6% sure he’ll never see it.
Dear Elon,
Welcome, Elon Musk’s “somebody on his team reading this” person! We’re experts in your language—or at least we like to think so. In reality, we’re just seasoned branding and retail entrepreneurs. It might seem a bit odd that we’re down here, squeaking through life like mice on a quest for a tasty nibble of cheese, but hey, that’s the luck of the draw!
We know we’re talented because we’ve built a successful career making people happier and smarter with a unique product line that few can rival. We’re in the health food sector, having previously operated 85 stores before selling them off, and now we’re back with a shiny new brand called GoodSugar.
This is our moment to climb the beanstalk, Jack and the Beanstalk style. Except the giant in the castle? A visionary extraordinaire—some might call him a genius, but I suspect he just has an overdeveloped pituitary gland that keeps him grounded to his third eye. He can’t help but make money and enrich lives, just like us!
So, what’s our first mission? We want to ensure people eat right. Next, we aim to help humanity gain a fresh perspective on natural anxiety. Then, we’ll brainstorm ways for folks to down-regulate their central nervous systems. It’s already a hot topic, but we want to take it to the next level! Plus, we need a robust way to communicate with 8 billion people, or else valuable lessons might get lost in translation.
And what’s next? We’re figuring out how to fuel the human body for our exodus from this planet. Remember the old days when sailors on those massive wooden ships got scurvy? They quickly linked it to a lack of vitamin C. But let’s be real—the dietary standards were atrocious! Most of those sailors were more likely to be detoxing from alcohol than enjoying a balanced diet. While vitamin C helped, the real magic was in the holistic benefits of the citrus fruits they consumed.
Now, as we prepare for a journey to who-knows-where in a space capsule zooming at 17,500 mph (or whatever fancy propulsion system you can dream up), we face a crucial question: What will we feed people to ensure they don’t go mentally deranged?
This is going to spark the biggest discussion 100 or 200 years from now when space travel becomes a regular part of our lives. The first thing we’ll need to replicate? A hypnotic dining experience! Imagine people sitting near cascading waterfalls or beautiful trees, fully immersed in an outdoor sensory adventure. It’s crucial that we train individuals on the importance of eating slowly and with mindful intent. Today, that feels like a luxury amidst our busy lives, but in the future, it’ll be essential for mental well-being.
As we venture into space, we’ll need to cultivate habits that prevent maladaptive coping mechanisms—those pesky character flaws that can creep in when we’re not paying attention. Eating will have to align with the human body’s natural rhythms. Picture this: astronauts walking through a virtual natural environment, using an old-school wooden bucket to pump water. Can you even imagine?
One of the biggest technological challenges will be cutting through the outdated philosophies we’ve clung to about the mind and body being separate entities. The truth? They’re one interconnected system—one giant brain! We’ve long viewed the brain as a centralized computer that controls everything, but we know better now.
In this future of space travel, meditation and self-mastery will be crucial in determining whether someone is fit for a decade-long mission. We’ll have to innovate compact technologies that allow people to exercise and meet their needs even while floating through the cosmos. It’s a brave new world, and we’ll have to rethink everything!
I recommend that we prepare 25 qualified candidates as test subjects for a unique astronaut training program. Picture a Zen-like monastery nestled in beautiful gardens, where tranquility reigns supreme. For six months to a year, participants would immerse themselves in mindfulness practices, taking these lessons to heart. There’s a chance that, once they awaken their minds, they might question the need for space travel altogether. But perhaps that’s precisely what we need to explore.
Now, onto a separate topic: the Cybertruck. I understand why it has limited appeal. Imagine it’s 1896, and all women leave the house wearing a specific type of hat while carrying umbrellas on cloudy days. The locals might see a woman dressed this way and think, “Ah, she fits into proper society.” People often judge based on superficial traits, a survival instinct driven by anxiety. It’s easier to categorize something as safe or unsafe than to delve into its deeper qualities.
When we rely on superficial judgments, it becomes challenging to reflect on our emotions or the more profound aspects of our psychology. We get stuck in the surface-level analysis. Let’s shift the perspective: one objective of the Tesla truck is simply to draw attention to the Tesla name without uttering a word. What better way to do that than with a bold, disruptive design?
People take the Cybertruck seriously because it actually drives and offers a unique experience. It’s version 1.0 for the public, and just like any new vehicle, it will face its share of trials, recalls, and updates. This vehicle simply needs more time to find its place in the market. Before long, major car manufacturers will realize they need a lunar shuttle-inspired vehicle that can do all sorts of unconventional things, all to retain their macho male audiences who love their tank-like trucks. Slowly but surely, sharp angles will become the new norm—though it may take longer than we expect, given how radical this shift is.
Eventually, to appeal to a wider audience, the Cybertruck may need to adopt shapes that feel more inclusive and inviting, rather than strictly genderless. Imagine a soccer mom discovering how this car can be a lifesaver—like a high-tech nanny in a way. What unique benefits does it offer her that other vehicles don’t? At the same time, we should showcase how it serves dads or carpenters. The more ubiquitous the car becomes, the more people will appreciate its design. It’s essentially a beautiful sculpture on wheels.
Consider this: most cars resemble Matisse sculptures with their bulbous, undulating curves. The Cybertruck, on the other hand, is like a Picasso painting—a bold, geometric masterpiece that challenges convention. As a concept vehicle, its radical design guarantees it will make a splash and draw attention to the Tesla name every time it’s seen.
Tesla isn’t just selling cars; they’re inviting you to think about their broader ecosystem. Are you considering the Tesla bot? What about their solar products? Perhaps even a Tesla vacuum or refrigerator? Just like Samsung, Yamaha, and Honda, Tesla is exploring adjacent consumer product industries, expanding its reach in the process.
The bottom line is that Tesla should be everywhere. It should be the spaceship company transporting people to new worlds and the biggest player in the universe—second only to the universe itself! They should tackle everything, from affordable renewable energy sources to pioneering faster-than-light travel ‘thingy’.
The essence of studying Elon Musk and Tesla is, fundamentally, a study of consciousness itself. Engaging with any subject enhances our minds and hones our problem-solving skills. Musk's endeavors span a range of issues—from personal flaws to pressing global challenges. We all grapple with similar struggles, yet we often become ensnared in the narrative, obscuring the lessons to be learned.
Humanity faces urgent problems that require our attention. Picture us as a lazy friend, lounging on the couch, procrastinating, easily distracted. Despite our creativity, sensitivity, and potential for inspiration, we sometimes falter. While cultural differences exist, every culture harbors good people who strive to prevail, even amid corruption.
This narrative centers on those who genuinely seek solutions to life's fundamental issues. The first step is introspection—developing our character and understanding the nature of reality. You don’t need a physics degree or to grasp complex equations; instead, focus on self-awareness and be willing to confront your character flaws.
For many, this is challenging, especially if self-esteem is low, making it difficult to face personal issues. However, we must move beyond these barriers, take a deep breath, and embrace the present moment. Everything in the universe is evolving towards improvement—why not our character?
While Musk works to take us to other planets, we must consider what we can do to improve our own world. Addressing the challenges here on Earth will be more beneficial than seeking escape in space out of desperation. Let’s prioritize fixing our planet so that future interplanetary travel can be a choice, not a necessity.
Philosophy can be a perilous pursuit, my friends. We risk losing sight of practicality, technique, and the methods needed for a simple, compassionate, efficient life. Imagine your life as a day at the beach with your children, complete with an ice cooler and all your plastic gear. Remember to pack out what you packed in and leave the beach clean. This mindset should extend to your entire life; it’s not just fair to your descendants, but also compassionate. Why should they inherit a mess?
Consider the potential suffering we leave behind as a species if we fail to overcome our anxieties and reactive tendencies. The solutions to our problems lie right here on Earth. While some may argue that we cannot halt progress and that space exploration is our next adventure, we must also acknowledge that our planet deserves our attention.
Perhaps it’s true that our planet faces dire challenges, prompting us to consider venturing beyond it to preserve life. Maybe the divine creator designed us with the intelligence to solve the puzzles we encounter. In this perspective, our existence might resemble a test—a challenge to see if we can overcome the traps we’ve created for ourselves. Evolution will favor those who can break free from the mental traps that arise under prolonged stress.