Mid-Evil Medical is committed to Injuring and Losing Far Less Patients than Last Year's Losses.
Specializing in ancient arts, we mend battle scars and fertility's charts.
With leeches and boils, we bring relief, and trepanation for occult beliefs.
From tooth removal to frozen cellulite, our remedies aim to make it right.
Safer than 8th-century procedures, our methods bring predictable features.
Astrologically timed, we ensure accurate fate, using precious stones as our aid.
While major insurances may not be embraced, our care and expertise are not misplaced.
Introducing services for the year twenty twenty-three, Warts banished, faces lifted, beauty to set you free. Anal bleaching, fat suctioning, sculpting for the rear, Enhancing forms, breasts and penises, with care and cheer. Tummy tucks and wrinkle purging, youth restored anew, Freckles fading, no longer in your view. Embrace these treatments, if they align with your desire, For confidence and self-love, they may inspire.
Location: Monday through Friday At the coordinates of 23 degrees latitude and 45 degrees longitude, In Central Park's Rambles, we await with gear, ready and strong.