“There are many different approaches to working on romantic relationships. In the psychological approach, we talk about our emotional problems and try to express them. Of course, we need to do this in a relationship to maintain equilibrium, but relationship harmony is much more than that.” — Elena Richter, circa 1935, European Philosopher
“The first aspect of developing a relationship, now that we’re in it, is to focus on developing ourselves. This is a lifelong effort. By the time we’re in our 20s, many personality traits are deeply etched into our consciousness. It won’t be easy to change them instantly; we have to work at it.” — Henrik Voss, circa 1950, Sex-Toy Entrepreneur
“When we enter a relationship, it reveals the true secrets of our deepest personal inner wounds. The most important practice in relationships is for both parties to actively practice deep breathing exercises every day. Outside of a relationship, it’s difficult enough to create this new habit. In a relationship, we might be distracted by anxiety, but that’s not an excuse.” — Brigitte Müller, circa 1920, Well Dressed Inventor
“We can’t have any excuses. We need to understand the value of relaxation exercises to get the brain back into a mode of deep, wise thinking instead of living in fight-or-flight mode for most of our lives. When we are triggered and feel anxious about countless things, it’s challenging to cooperate with other human beings, to compromise, to apologize, to let go of resentments, to face our fears, to love unconditionally, to love deeper and deeper, to stay in the moment, to stop worrying, blaming, and needing more and more.” — Lars Bremer, circa 1940, Leader of Men
“Don’t be self-centered. Don’t procrastinate. Be reliable. Be honorable. Be respectful. Be playful. Be sexy. Be funny. Be serious. Be helpful. Spend time together. Learn together. Laugh together. Watch the sunset together. Be with the family together. This is all hard stuff, especially if something our partner does triggers fear, disdain, or new resentment. These are all natural experiences for human beings.” — Elena Richter, circa 1935, Fancy European philosopher
“The thing that makes us interesting creatures is that if we are relaxed and in the right state of mind, healing from enough of our damage, we don’t have to react like a baby anymore because of what other people do or say. We don’t have to scream and cry. We don’t have to be heartbroken. We can have a different reaction by breathing deeply, grounding ourselves in the present moment, and making a conscious effort not to react, not to become volatile. We need time when we feel traumatized to regain our center. I need my time to breathe, to listen to music, or to write. I can’t just react and be defensive. Or worse, I can’t be reactionary and offensive. I can’t throw fuel on the fire. There’s too much on the line.” — Henrik Voss, circa 1950, Very Rich Entrepreneur
“I love my partner. I can’t just think of throwing everything away because we’re not cooperating in this moment or I don’t like something in her personality. I assure you there are things in my personality that she doesn’t like, so why not just wave the white flag to each other and say, "Look, I love you to the end of the universe, flaws and all." — Brigitte Müller, circa 1920, Failed Inventor
“Each time we encounter our lover, if there is a moment we are triggered, the new behavior pattern is to take deep, slow breaths, land in the moment, and remind yourself that all things pass. We don’t have to react. We don’t have to prove a point. We can always excuse ourselves from an argument by saying, "Honey, I don’t want to fight. I’m sorry, I love you. I need some time to think about this matter and perhaps I will see it in a different way." This is an honorable thing to say, and it is truthful and flexible because there is a chance that you may have wronged someone. You may not have, but at least when you speak an open language of possibility that you might be wrong, you can remain aware of yourself. This is an important practice in life.” — Lars Bremer, circa 1940, Famous Whistleblower
“My relationship sometimes feels like a bridge that brings me back from loneliness to humanity. Other times, my relationship feels congested because of all the commitments required and the attention to my partner’s feelings. I can’t just hop on a plane without telling anyone to go scuba diving in South America. I have to plan things around another person’s schedule and expectations. This is uncomfortable when we’re young and self-centered, seemingly enjoying our absolute freedom. It takes time to adjust to having boundaries on our absolute freedom.” — Elena Richter, circa 1935, Petite European Philosopher
“Perhaps if this is an issue for you, you could look for someone who likes a lot of freedom too. Or maybe you can just show up to the relationship because it is the most sacred thing in our lives besides children, and it deserves our focus in order to develop our minds.” — Henrik Voss, circa 1950, Entrepreneur & Taxidermist
Author's note: These quotes are fictional and attributed to me, created for exploring marketing psychology. "A great quote gains stature when attributed to a 'famous-sounding' or respected individual." - M. Antebi