{"product_id":"goodsugar-concealed-leg-juice-bladders™","title":"goodsugar Concealed Leg Juice Bladders™","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThe World's First Wearable Beverage Storage System for People Who Must Have Our Juice When They Travel\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eWhy carry your juice in a bottle when you can carry an entire gallon strapped to your thigh like a highly nutritious artificial limb? \u003cstrong\u003eTired of those ridiculous three-ounce travel containers? Think bigger. Go undetected with an entire gallon of your favorite beverage discreetly strapped to your leg. Because airport security doesn't need to know how committed you are to hydration.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eIntroducing the \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan\u003egoodsugar Concealed Leg Juice Bladder\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e, a revolutionary, anatomically contoured, entirely plastic beverage reservoir designed for individuals who refuse to let pants, personal dignity, or conventional hydration practices interfere with their nutritional requirements.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eEach bladder holds up to \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan\u003eone full gallon (128 ounces)\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e of your favorite nonperishable beverage. The ergonomically curved container follows the natural contours of your leg and features adjustable straps, a convenient sipping spout, and a leak-resistant screw cap. No metal components whatsoever.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003ePerfect for weddings, business meetings, family vacations, funerals, first dates, religious ceremonies, and any social engagement where arriving with a gallon of green juice might create unnecessary questions.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eSimply fill, strap, dress, and sip. Nobody needs to know why one of your legs weighs approximately nine pounds more than the other.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003e\u003cspan\u003eProduct Specifications\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan\u003eMaximum capacity:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e 1 gallon \/ 128 fluid ounces\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan\u003eDimensions:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e 26\" H × 6\" W × 3.5\" D\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan\u003eConstruction:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e 100% food-grade plastic, zero metal components\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan\u003eDesign:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Anatomically contoured, available for left or right leg\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan\u003eDrinking mechanism:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Flexible sipping spout with removable cap\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan\u003eColor:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Transparent, allowing everyone to admire your beverage should your pants fall down\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan\u003eAdjustable straps:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Three-point fastening system\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan\u003eEmpty weight:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Approximately 2.4 lbs\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan\u003eFilled weight:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Approximately 10.8 lbs when filled with water\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan\u003eAvailable sizes:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Normal Human, Athletic Calf, and Suspiciously Large Thigh\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan\u003eRecommended beverages:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Green juice, coconut water, smoothies, filtered water, and anything that doesn't require refrigeration\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan\u003eCare:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Hand wash only; do not microwave, freeze, or place in a dishwasher\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan\u003eOptional Dual-Leg System:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Purchase two units for a combined two-gallon capacity, perfect for anyone seeking the appearance of a professional bodybuilder from the waist down without attending a gym.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan\u003eImportant:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e This is a parody product. Not an actual tested or certified beverage container. Airline and event security restrictions still apply.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003e\u003cspan\u003egoodsugar. Keep your nutrition close. Uncomfortably close.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"goodsugar","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":67645195092242,"sku":null,"price":118.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0680\/9331\/3298\/files\/ConcealedLegJuiceBladderAdvertisement.png?v=1793062230","url":"https:\/\/ilovegoodsugar.com\/products\/goodsugar-concealed-leg-juice-bladders%e2%84%a2","provider":"goodsugar","version":"1.0","type":"link"}